Always fatihful

funny how im unable to begin and end a poem with what i actually intended it to do. Originally supposed to be another descriptive, started sounding poemy, then led to being about a wife of a marine, whose husband had died when his ship had crashed into so

Shadows creep slowly

into my heart of stone

nothing i could say

would bring him home

his body now lay

in a flag covered box

I had begged him to stay

Then his ship had plunged into the rocks

The sunset seems dull

the birds no longer sing

i stare at pictures of a broken hull

and a far more ravaged dream

My soldier, my hero

The champion of my heart

There go the shots

21 in all

men in uniform salute

as you are carried by

and silently i whisper "semper fi"

 

Author's Note

Don't think i did very well in representing the remorse and emotion this woman is goign through, but i may flush it out more later.

Reviews

[Prodigo]

[Jeff Bresee]

I would be nervous to try to write such a poem for someone in so painful of a situation. You have done well her.

[AyameJrock]

Loved it, almost brought me to tears.. Good job

[Chirinos20]

I like this poem. The shots fired and the men saluting are just a good way to show the respect owed to them. It a thing that makes me sad to know how many people come home dead. But by doing so, they keep this country safe. Very well done!!!!

[Jonathan *break away*]

wow chief thats great

i love the marines even tho im in the air force program

[Cordell]

WOW! I like this poem it was nice. Lost the ending great job!!! Semper Fi

[Christopher.Holmberg]

This is beautiful...I've been reading your poems, this is by far my favourite! excellent composition. Well expressed.

[Hello, Goodbye]

Very good poem, it was impressive. I love the little personal details you include.. and certain portion that really reach to the reader. I love it.. nice job..

[Domo]

It sets a vast image in your mind to view as you walk through what the character depicts.
I found this good.
~D♥m♥~