Chapter 2

I didn’t deserve her kindness. She helped me when I was in this defenseless state. She stayed in the hospital with me. Why?

I had to end it. I was holding her back. There was a chance I would never be able to see again, and I couldn’t hold Andie back.

I pulled a book out from under my bed. It was one of my new books that the doctor gave me"written all in Braille. I skimmed the words, looking for one of the only familiar sentences I knew. It was the first sentence that Andie had taught me. It was the only sentence I wanted to remember. I love you.

I ripped the page out and laid it gently on the bed.

I felt my eyes getting hot once again. I couldn't believe it had come to this. Never in my life had I thought about suicide. Not once. But in less than a week, that was the number one thing that occupied my brain. I hoped that Andie and the others would understand. And I hoped that they would be happy, because I was doing this for them.

I couldn't remember exactly how high my window was. I was sure it was high enough, because we were on the third floor. It took a while for me to even find the damn window, but when I did, I gently opened it and crawled out as cautiously as I could. I wanted to be in control of my fall. Now I was holding on only by my fingers, grasping the edge of the sill tightly. I convinced myself that the drop wasn't that extreme and that I would gently land, while really I was planning to try to crash on my head, just in case. I noiselessly prayed to God. He had never failed me before. I hoped that he would understand, too. And I could only wish that I would still be welcomed into his paradise.

Finally, I was ready. I hung there, in complete nothingness, waiting for my fingers to let go.

I don't know how long I hung there. I was too weak to let go. I couldn't do it. Not by myself. I tried hoisting myself back up into my room, but I couldn't do that either. I was stuck there. The fear took over. What was I doing? Taking away my own life? What the hell was I thinking? I could honestly say that I was scared. Maybe if I could see anything…but without my eyes I wouldn't be able to get back in. This was it…I was going to die.

But I deserved it…I think at least. I mean, who better to die than me right now? After what I had done to Andie, this was definitely for the best. But why couldn’t I let go of the f*****g windowsill. How long would I be able to hang there before I actually fell?

My cell phone started to ring. I wondered who it could be…I doubt anyone would really want to talk to me anymore…

A few minutes later, I heard the bedroom door fly open and it was followed by heavy footsteps. I had to do it now. I had to let do. But why couldn’t I? I think I wanted someone to save me. I wanted to know that I was still loved and cared for.

I felt a warm pair of arms grasp mine, and a gentle voice reassuring me. “It’s okay, Dylan, you're gonna be okay. It's all going to be fine…” I didn’t recognize the voice. It belonged to a girl.  Eventually my full body was in her arms, and I didn't struggle. She was strong, stronger than any girl I’d ever met. It was weird when she put me down. I didn't want him to lay me on my bed. I wanted to stay in her arms…in her tight yet caring arms.

Everything was silent. But I knew they were all in the room. I could hear them breathing…watching me.

“What the hell were you trying to do?” A voice said.

I didn’t answer, because I didn’t recognize who it was. I almost wished I was back out the window, hanging on the ledge.

“Hello? What, now you're deaf and mute, too? Dylan, I asked you a question. Now tell me what the f**k you were doing outside that window!” Andie said angrily. I had never heard her like this before. Usually, she was so calm, so cool, so collected…

“I didn’t think"”

“Damn straight, you didn’t think! Do you have any idea what could've happened out there? You know how much that would've hurt everyone who cares about you? How much that would've hurt…" Her voice faded. I could tell she was holding back tears. “How much that would've hurt me?” Her voice was weak.

"Andrea"” There was that voice again. I don't know what there was about it. I wanted her to say more words. I couldn't look at this girl"her voice was all I had. "Andrea, be gentle now. Yelling isn't going to do anything.”

“No, you shut up! You have nothing to do with this!” Andie yelled. “And I’m nowhere near yelling, yet!”

“Can you guys let me talk to her?” That radiant voice asked.

“No, I’m her best friend!” Andie said. “And I’m practically the only family she has right now. So if anyone is gonna talk to her, it’s gonna be me!”

“Andie…please…” The voice pleaded. I wanted a name.

“Let her.” Those were the first two words Sabrina said.

“What?!” Andie sounded confused. I wanted to see them. I wanted my eyes to work. I wanted so many things that weren’t happening.

“Just let her talk. Come on, let’s go finish breakfast.” Sabrina said

Andie didn’t answer. I heard the shuffling of people leaving the room, and then there was silence. But she was in here. I didn’t know where, and that killed me. The bed sunk and I felt a weight against me.

“Dylan, I’m Stephanie Trince.” She said.

Stephanie. I suddenly found myself falling in love with the name. I repeated it over and over in my head.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m five. Something tells me I’m older than you.” I had to be bitchy, I just had to. I didn’t know why.

“Oh yeah? Try me, when’s your birthday?” She asked with a chuckle.

“February twelfth,” I said.

“March eighth” She laughed. “Looks like you were right.”

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. I found myself wondering how it looked when a blind person rolled their eyes.

She took a deep breath, and I knew she was annoyed. I didn't want to get her annoyed. I wanted anything but that. I wanted her arms around me again. I wanted her to keep talking.

“I’m sorry,” I said weakly.

“It’s alright, I understand. You’re confused and scared. I’ve been there.”

“I doubt it.”

“Believe me. I’ve got some problems, too.” I could tell that she was smiling.

“Like what?”

“Um, we’ll get to that later. Right now, we’re talking about you.”

I didn’t want to talk about me. I wanted to talk about her. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know what she liked to do, where she was from, and why I had never noticed her before. But first, I wanted to start off with what she looked like. “Stephanie…”

“Yes?”

“What…what do you look like?” I asked.

She sighed. “Well, I’ve got brown hair. And…I guess I’m pretty tan. There’s not much else to tell.”

That wasn’t enough. I had only a vague idea of what she looked like. “What do you do?”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“You’re muscular, so you’ve got to play some kind of sport.”

“I’m a cheerleader,” She said.

Had I seen her? I didn't know. That part of my memory wasn't very clear, yet. 

She laughed. I felt butterflies. That laugh, it put me under a spell. 

Reviews

[Calypso]

Great. I love this!