Double Wink

A personal poem.

I miss the nuances of your face.

How your eyes crinkle and come alive

when you're thinking about something important.

I miss your serious face when you're driving,

how I catch you looking over at me

when you think I won’t notice.

 

I miss the red light kisses

and your gentle hands on my lap; feeling safe.

I miss holding you close,

so close I can feel your heart beating on my chest,

and the sound of your breathing getting faster and faster,

your face gently grazing my neck; a soft tickle.

 

I crave that.

 

I miss staring into your curious eyes,

always looking back at me relentless,

so I get shy and lower my gaze,

but when I look up again, you’re still staring,

and I cannot help but wonder

how on earth someone could love me that much.

 

And your lips, I miss them too, the perfect shape.

Whenever you close your eyes,

I trace the outline of your lips

with my eyes, and hope you don’t notice me,

watching you sleep,

falling deeper in love every time you breathe.

 

I miss the weight of your chest on top of me,

and your soft fingers intertwined with mine,

as if you’re subconsciously telling me

you’ll never let go,

knowing that’s exactly what I want.

 

I miss the brim of your hat hitting my head when we kiss.

I miss opening my eyes and seeing you staring back at me.

I miss your careless laugh,

and the silent car rides

where we don’t have to say anything

yet understand everything

just by holding hands.

 

I miss touching noses, accidently, on purpose.

I miss holding kisses under the moonlight.

Maybe that’s our version of holding on.

 

I close my eyes from time to time

and I can see your face in front of me.

The lines around your eyes,

your fluttery eyelashes,

the wrinkles that form on your forehead

when you try to be serious.

 

I envision your dark hair brushing your forehead,

the sharp ridge of your nose,

the slight curve of your mouth,

the creases on your lips,

and I feel like you’re in front of me once again,

finger reaching out, mere seconds from touching my nose.

 

I shut my eyes tight to keep you in my mind forever.