Ruins

the ache is tangible; I still taste it in my throat every minute

I want Him to come back to me. I want My Man back in my life, the man I thought He was.

so...

"get over it"

"move on"

"snap out of it"

"selfish"

"psycho"

"liar"

"delusional"

"you're better off"

"don't. He's not worth it [oh yes. He is.]"

"it hurts it hurts it hurts... EVERYTHING HURTS"

and Let's try ONE MORE PILL.

Because everyone outside feels better when you're dead inside, when you finally shut up, when you stop screaming, when there are no more cuts, when you pretend that you didn't believe every word spoken to you, when you say that you 

Don't.

Love. 

Him.

If anyone ever loved me, they would let me go, but they never will.

Where I was once treasured, I am now hated. I was beautiful, remarkable [am I?], The One [of several], now REPULSIVE.

The Dodged Bullet.

The "Dude. I tried to warn you."

I inspired, was desired, now I'm worthless. Nothing and less.

and I was shattered first, wide awake for my open-heart butchery

but somehow I'll never be sorry enough for the ruin I left behind.

I exist. Just barely, but I do.

a bright moth, not a flame

I loved you

oh I loved you

Reviews

[Anaisa]

I love this. This is exactly how I feel. I feel your pain. I feel your regret. I feel your desperation. I feel you. I am you.