Starved

Written September 20, 2020.

It was never supposed to be like this

Stomach grumbling, mind fading

You fed me what I had been craving

And I asked you for seconds

"It's not that bad"

Every Saturday morning

Pull the skin, turn to the side

Suck in the stomach

Step onto the scale

"You've got it under control"

Swallowed by this pile of clothes

Suffocated and alone

Curled up in bed, fingers pressed to skin

Still can't feel those ribs

"You're not that thin"

Bound are my wrists, ankles in chains

On the floor once again

As you stand over me, you are in control now

I know this is what I deserve

"No one else would deal with this"

There is no one left

Bent, broken, and burned for you

"You have so many problems"

The cold envelops me in numbness

"Your feelings don't matter"

The grip around my throat tightens

My breathing slows

The will within me to live left long ago

I turn on the bathroom light

Only to see these hands that are my own

Reviews

[Franky]

This is chilling. Thank you for sharing your pain. I've never been there so I really don't understand, but I appreciate your openess.

I truly hope you are climbing your way back. Keep writing and posting!

[light and ashes]

I really enjoyed this. I feel like there is hope revealed in the ending. It reminds me of these lines I wrote. "Beat me and then tell me that I'm ok." Abuse comes in a lot of different forms, and it all has damaging effects.

[Joey Lexington]

This is raw and real and deep. It's the kind of vulnerability needed for wonderful writing.

[Chris]

Hi... having a "rough" stretch?

Our own expectations are the hardest to face when it's just us there to face them. We each face our own "mirrors" and have to come to terms WITH our selves.