Valley of Expiation

====Valley of Expiation====

copyright@pushkar prabhat, 2014

 

Echoes of a bleeding shower,

Occupy the nothingness;

Water falling through: empty,

Apparition, Me:

Access denied!

 

Faculty of senses, senseless:

What did i witness?

What did i do?

In rush, in fear, in flight;

Perhaps, reason was roadkilled!

 

Rising realisation:

Emanates beams of guilt;

From over: the folds of mistakes.

It’s late, blood floods my,

Valley of expiation.

 

The choice:

Only a canal can drain this.

Hope shines off the metal;

Hope: forgiveness blooms,

Once the atonement resurfaces.

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Reviews

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Deep thought, true senses and marvellous writing.

"Apparition, me: access denied" - Moved with these lines. Aren't being human today is an apparition itself? we have been losing our identity every moment, failing to realize the evil but still thinking that we haven't sinned - "Rising realization: emanates beams of guilt" - indeed so.

Your choice of words is powerful and you have a great potential. Will love to read more from you.

Thank you

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!! thank you so much for this generous review and insightful comments!!! :) :)

[Pratikshya Mishra]

you used quite powerful words in here, overwhelming words I would say. I liked it, though it was an unusual piece..

[Pushkar Prabhat]

yes, it is unusual and also not my usual style of writing. Thank you so much for your generous review!!! :) :)

[jennifer little]

nice work good job i liked it

[Pushkar Prabhat]

glad you liked it!! thank you :) :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Intense and deep, word choice is apt
good job,
thankyou

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you..........:)

[Rehan Roy]

'Echoes of bleeding shower,
Occupy the nothingness...
Rising realisation
Emanates beams of guilt...'

It's difficult for one's self to pardon oneself. I felt the energy in this poetry. Excellent ..:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much............long time!! :) :)

[micky]

Certainly your best. I really love this piece from head to toe. The emotion is so well almost planed I would say and yet there is that painful feeling that feels lost but comforting in the same way. Well done !!!!!!!!!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!! Thank you so much!!! I am glad you enjoyed! :) :)

[MsJewel]

There are so many layers to this one - it feels deep and personal and so powerful. One of the best poems I've read by you!

:) Julie

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much, Julie. it means a lot!! :) :)

[MsJewel]

My pleasure! :)

[Eleanor]

Quite impressive.
The choice of words is great :)
Splendid writing :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks a lot!!!! :) :)

[Eleanor]

You're welcome :)

[MomzillaNC]

An expression of our own fading identities, lost in the struggles, the fires of life that twist us out of all recognition of what we thought we would be.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much!!! :) :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Sindu]

some profound conscience quarrel here, I see!!
There is a sense of finality and weight on the topic you thank about, in the manner you wrote. A brilliant analogy! All of them, we are becoming a senseless apparitions confounding in matters till its too late and over our heads. Realising the reasons and mistakes, to repay for some.
Liked the play of words!! :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

wow!!! means a lot coming from you............thanks a bunch!!! :)

[Sindu]

you're welcome! :))