i am running

====I Am Running====

copyright@pushkar prabhat, 2014

 

BLANK.

in the void;

at the crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

with an unknown:

immediate past.

the implied future.

UNSURE.

which way is my way;

at this crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

recollection of,

some destination.

i feel an urgency;

some deadline.

INSTINCTIVELY.

this is the way.

i chose this road.

i Have Started Running.

 

however unknown,

the destination be.

i leave no stone unturned,

leave no tool useful, behind;

among million things,

by the sides of the road.

DEFINITELY.

this is the way.

this has to be.

i chose this road to;

i Am Running.

 

i feel closer

and here comes the storm.

against this wind,

in rush of adrenaline,

with everything  i have got.

DETERMINED.

this is my way.

this is my chance.

i chose this destination.

i Am Still Running.

 

oh this burning,

inside of me.

is my heart on fire?

consuming every bit of my strength.

RELUCTANT.

to give in.

to stop.

i have to, and,

i Am Running.

 

this wind is,

fanning,

this fire.

i feel tired,

my tools are falling,

my tricks are failing.

EXHAUSTED.

this cannot be the end,

i have come a long way,

i choose again: forward!

i Am Running.

 

i am limping,

the further i go,

the more i burn.

but i cannot stop;

bloody deadline.

DÉJÀ VU.

in this journey,

again at a crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

maybe a superstition;

but i believe,

i shall rise from my ashes.

if not, someday maybe,

this wind shall change course,

take me flying to my destination.

UNFETTERED.

this has been my destiny.

this was my way.

i choose once more,

i Am Running.

______________________________________

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

the pace and intensity was maintained throughout.. I felt the emotion, the uncertainty, the need to keep going.. the flow helped build and keep the momentum nicely... I like the caps with certain words.. it helped stress the ideas..

can I offer a few suggestions? (just my opinion)

"INSTINCTIVELY.
this is the way.
i choose this road.
I Have Started Running."... think it would sound better with "chose" here instead of choose...

also I noticed throughout some of the "I's" were capitalized and some were not, not sure if was intentional or not, just pointing it out..

I love the subtle use of repetition here, it really drives your point home... when done correctly it adds to the "emotional punch" of a poem and you have done that skillfully here..

I have had a few Deja Vu moments in my journey and when pressed for time, can be disheartening for sure.. those "bloody deadlines" will get ya every time.. lol
well written, interesting, and powerful... I enjoyed.. thank you for sharing:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

this is a generous review. you are very kind. thank you so much.
and i appreciate your suggestions. i used choose because i meant to say that instinctively i choose this road, describing my choice in the process, but yes it does sound better with chose. the capitalized 'Is' is only used in the last sentence of each stanza. i did that to make those sentences stand out.
what do you think? should i change them?
and thank you again for your time.
:)

[AprilRN1210]

honestly, in my opinion, I would change them, and maybe italicize the last sentence or use a different font, bold, whatever you decide to make it visually "pop" or stand out..
it was my pleasure.. you are more than welcome..

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks again...... :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

done! looks better now. :)

[AprilRN1210]

if I may ask, why do you want them lowercase?... if this is not about learning, empowerment, and struggle and survival, wouldn't you want it to be capitalized to show strength? the use of the lower doesn't really fit the tone of the piece in my opinion...

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are right. but firstly, because i believe that normal people can do great things and once they achieve greatness they must not forget or loose their true identity and also, appearances don't matter.
secondly, i like lowercase. i know this is a ridiculous reason but i do. you will notice that i never write my name in uppercase in the "copyright" line below the title, reason as i stated above.
you must think i am crazy. do you?

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you were asking about the 'I's right?

[AprilRN1210]

nope, just was curious as to your "reasoning" behind it.. I have a curious spirit, so I cannot help it.. I like questioning and learning... nice to meet you, and look forward to reading more of your work:)

[AprilRN1210]

yes, was asking about the I's.. :)
you explained it well, thank you...

[Pushkar Prabhat]

great! i too live by those principles. nice to meet you too. i don't know why but, i feel like i made a fool of myself. me and my "reasoning". anyways, please do read and i will be waiting for your insightful suggestions and curious queries.
:)

[AprilRN1210]

yes, was asking about the I's.. :)
you explained it well, thank you...

[Ana B.]

i was absorbed in every single word, an unique brilliant work. Absolutelly a must have :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!! thank you so much..........!!!! :) :)

[Created Unfinished]

The changes in font took away from the actually writing a bit, but I did like it.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much for this kind visit. i do sometimes do ' over presentation '. Apologies :)

[Confuser]

Now, this is a great piece. I loved it. Really, pulled me in. Thank you so much!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you.........thank you............so glad you liked it so much!!!! :) :)

[Confuser]

I just love him when I am directed back to a great piece; like this, so I can read it again.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

oh wow!!! that's really awesome........... :) :) this will give you one more chance *wink* :) :)

[Confuser]

Y/W..............................................No "wink" ever necessary!

[Confuser]

Re-reading. Should have simply put in in my library as I will now. Love it.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Wow!!! Thank you.........i m so very glad that you loved it so much!!! :)

[felioness]

Very creatively formed with impact that carried the reader from start to finish.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much for your appreciation.............:) :)

[Sreenath]

I think you got reviews pointing out mistakes... but I wont point out any coz I was mixed with the emotion in this poem and I have and iam experiencing the exact same situation....enjoyed reading it peace.... keep smiling

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much........:) :) yes but i thought i corrected them..........please point them out......if there are more. thank you!!! :) :)

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Extremely well done mate. Your writing style and words have made me do the running later from standing earlier as I read through it. There is a pace present here that sets the mind of the reader along the flow. The mind stands with the first lines, gets on mark with next few and then starts the unending run as we move towards the end.

The need to move on amongst uncertainity, the moments of desparate decisions that we face, the confusion, the Deja vu - its all so real in our lives and you have efficiently blended them into your style. You are a genius. Love the lines:

"maybe a superstition;
but i believe,
i shall rise from my ashes.
if not, someday maybe,
this wind shall change course,"

Hope to read more of you.

~ Dipanjan (an overwhelmed reader) :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

wow!!! if only all my poems could get such amazing reviews!!! thank you so much........it means a lot!!! :) :)

[ayesha gupta]

can relate to it. feeling like you have described my situation.. but mine is without any second change.
nicely penned.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks a lot!!! :) :)

[jennifer little]

nice poem keep up the good work

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks......:)

[Sanjh]

It's excellent Sir, use of the words in caps is wonderful. A wonderful idea presented in it's best form...
keep it up...:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Wow!!! thanks a lot for your generous review............:) :)

[HungryGhost]

You're really talented :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much for your kind words!!! :) :)