WALKING BESIDE YOU

A personal description of the time spent walking beside my love.

walking beside you,
for hours long or for moments few;
is like walking in heaven,
on lane of roses paven.
while walking we share our day and yesterdays,
and when you speak, i pray the time stays.
'coz i love to listen to your voice,
honey in sweetness and refreshing as ice.
your fingers strike strings of my heart,
when they just touch mine, and depart.
and when our shoulders rub against,
its then i almost become impatient.
impatient to tell you, how i feel-
when in, with winds, your fragrance reel.
but i stop and just enjoy your presence,
because loosing you will be loosing my life's essence.
so i pray the road never ends, each day,
yet, but it seems shorter than yesterday.
and though i know, afterall, its just a walk,
and maye be for you all of these be just talk.
but whatever it is, just let it be,
and you keep walking beside me!!!

Author's Note

Please tell me what do you think of this poem. I am new at writing poetry so please tell me your suggestions.

Reviews

[D]

I loved it :D

A really emotional piece, nevertheless well crafted.

there's a few things to improve...(just cosmetics. lol. so no worries)

there's this word "yet" in a awkward place, and seems to me, the piece is better without it.

" so i pray the road never ends, each day,
yet, but it seems shorter than yesterday" take out old yeti(lol) and it's good.

now to the rest...

" and though i know, afterall, its just a walk,
and maye be for you all of these be just talk."

there's two things I'd change here
"and " or "though " well, one has to disappear, since in my opinion one makes the other unnecessary here.
(oh..change its to it's, and maye be to maybe)

well more than two. lol

"for you all of these be just talk."

I'd change it to

"for all of you this is just talk,"

oh..yeah. the dot should be a coma. lol.
check for other small stuff like that.

but I loved it, so as always full rating, and a place in my favorites. :)

keep on going.

[D]

Well...I ain't your English teacher just a dumb water well driller, but hell. I love your work :) (and this above poked my eye a bit. lol.)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks a lot dear friend.........i know there are errors in this.........but since this is the 2nd-3rd poem i ever wrote in English........i have left it as it is.........thank you again........:) :)

[D]

you're welcome :-)

[Leena Madhuri]

COOL! so Beautiful!!! no words :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much Leena.............so glad i have not bored you yet.......:P...........really appreciate your words!!!!! :) :)

[Leena Madhuri]

No way! it actually gives me more enthusiasm to read more and more! so sweet!!!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

oh wow........keep on then........ :P :;P .......All the best!!! :D :D

[ANSHU ANAND]

Just amazing piece of art ..... very realistic.... :)

[ZeStrange]

honestly, such sweetness … a certain purity and innocence inherent. :) i hope you continue having those magical strolls :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thank you so much for this lovely review! I will try my best!!!

[Sami Khalil]

I like the idea of walks or strolls with the beloved in an orchard with the river flowing or by the ocean with the waves crashing in the distance. This was soooo romantic and lovely...:).................

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thanks a lot for your kind words.......hearing this from an amazing poet like you really means a lot! Thanks for your time and stay happy....:-):-)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:)...............

[Penny]

I cn juss say dat i felt d same wid sum1 but couldn't bring dat emotion in my poetry. U did it
.. Very nyc write & nvr lose dat person.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thank you and i am glad that you could realate. And yes, i wont let that person go away, ever!

[Penny]

You're welcum & wish u good luck eid dat special sum1

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thank you so much!