Ditch Too Deep

     Wind whistled through my ears as gravity pulled me down. I looked to my left just in time to see a smiling child running beside me. Her whipped blond hair flowing behind her like a waterfall. Her sister close by, ran next to me. The brown bangs that usually lay flat had parted to either side of her forehead, making way for a rush of warm wind on her face. I looked down to see a black board beneath me, accompanied by the soft humming of wheels on pavement. 

     Ahead of me they ran, the little boy determined to show me he was faster than I. Instead though I looked to the top of the hill to see none other than a small gray pup. He ran ahead of the boy, his small legs carrying him on the wind like an eagle. 

     In time I looked down to see the ditch, bracing myself I rode swiftly over it as I has done a million times before. As the terrain switched to an upward position, I felt my pace slowing. Swiftly I reached my foot back and pushed off the pavement quickly, in order to gain momentum. Nothing could replace it, the rush and free feeling of gliding down a hill at an accelerating pace.

     I left my arms hanging loosely at my side as the soft summer wind brushed my face. Intrigued, I watched as blurred images to my left and right slipped by swiftly. As I reached the top of the hill several images came into view. I looked at the children all completely out of breath yet still determined to catch the pup. I smiled at them, turned around, and headed down the hill. As I looked back they had noticed I’d left, and were now bolting down the hill themselves. Not but two second later a small blur of gray fur ran by and swiftly ahead. I could hear the children laughing, and for a moment the world stopped spinning. I took a deep breath of fresh air and exhaled softly. Looking upward I could see the soft green leaves on the trees as I passed. 

     Not hesitant I smiled as if the world would always be such a peaceful place. Then, without warning I was bucked off my board and launched forward onto the rough black pavement. I laid there for a moment pondering what just happened. Although remembering the children, I jumped up to try to show them and their mother that I was alright. I stumbled as I stood and the world started to spin. I could see the blurred images of the three children and perhaps a voice asking if I was alright. Quickly I looked down at my arm (now in pain). As expected I saw a large scrape embedded with gravel, bleeding heavily. My knees were scraped too accompanied by another bleeding scrape on my hip. 

     The children’s voices slowly filtered into my head like soft whispers, slowly progressing to their original sound. They looked at me concerned, and I ignored them saying we needed to head up. I tried to walk but my head felt weird, accompanied by the sudden tinted black color in my vision. 

     Walking up the hill I felt faint and completely light headed. Somehow though I managed to get up the hill, and pretend like I was fine. I saw them off in the small minnie van, and when out of sight I collapsed in the crisp green grass. Little did I know that would be the last day I would feel that free. The ditch had become too deep, I could no longer cross it.

Reviews

[KurKota]

Very good writing. Your description of events with the detail used, is very effective. I like it alot. I could almost "feel" your sensations, so your descriptions must be very good and effective. I particularly like the way you end it..."the ditch had become too deep"....which as a statement can be used to imply different meanings to your story. Excellent !

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank u for the comment!

[Steve]

I liked this. But, be aware that white space is free. ie hit your enter key more liberally...it would make it easier to read.

but...i can tell you have skill.

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank u!

[Steve]

You are very welcome. I hope I didn't offend....

[TheMadnessWithin]

Nope, advice is good

[Adam Walzer]

This is the type of story that makes me end and think, "hmm." And I mean that in a good way. I particularly liked the way you ended it. The whole story seemed to have a lot of detail which adds to the effectiveness of the simplicity in your last sentence. Very good.

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank u!