Goodbye

Goodbye

October 19th, 2011

It’s getting colder, that’s good, because I like the cold. I find more animals in the cold, that means more experiments. This was the way my mother broke the news to me, in between her shifts at the hospital, the one hour I have with her for lunch before she goes speeding back to work in her black Camaro.

She said, “Good weather is coming for dead animals, honey, I’m getting a divorce.”

I said nothing to her; I don’t talk to my parents. The only person I do talk to is my tutor, and I only manage to whisper out a few words at a time to him.

This divorce thing is going to ruin my life. Though I didn’t say anything on the outside, on the inside I was screaming with rage. What will happen to my studies? Who will I live with? Will I still be home schooled? Will I have to move somewhere? What am I going to do?

I said nothing to her, she didn’t need to know any of this.

I can feel my world slowly beginning to slip from my fingers. My life is over. I don’t understand why they are divorcing anyway? They never even see each other! And they’re rich! They have everything they could ask for, why throw it away?

After she told me we sat in silence as she finished her food. I said nothing. She left me at the table with my mac and cheese sitting there for so long that it might have started growing mold.  I left it lying on the table as I went to the laboratory to think. The laboratory is the only place I can think straight. I’m always in there, dissecting, researching, or writing in this dumb notebook... Will I have to leave it all behind?

My father arrived home from a work trip tonight. It was the same routine as always, he came home, dropped his bags on the floor in the living room, loosened his tie and headed straight for bed so he can get up early to catch another plane early the next morning.

He said nothing to me, and I said nothing to him.

I’ll end it here for now, I have some surgery to perform on a dead cat I found in Mrs. Hallow’s driveway this afternoon. Stupid old lady, can’t see where she’s driving. This is the third one this month she’s run over. Blind as a bat, that one.

I wonder what would happen to our house if we had to move.

What if I had to go to public school?

What if people found out about my little hobby?

My life is ending, right now, as I speak... *sigh*

Might as well kill myself now, save myself the trouble of having to do it later...

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

The sun peeked out from in between the long branches of the tall trees that stood on the side of the road. It was a long, winding road, stretching as far as I could see. I slumped against my lyre case in the backseat of my mom’s black Camaro. We had come from the city, a dark, smog-filled place, where the roads are lined with thieves and pick-pockets. Where the sun almost never shines and the rain floods the streets and drowns everything. I hate the city. It was too crowded, filled with beggars who asked you for money or the homeless seeking shelter. We need a new plague, the world has become too crowded.

We hit a bump in the road and everything went flying through the air. I exhaled sharply, “Driver!” I shouted, furiously trying to fix my hair. “Indeed, be more vigilant! If we totter about any more I will have your head!” I smoothed the folds in my dress so they were flat and precise.

“Alice, don’t say things like that.” My mother sat quietly for the whole ride, having not spoken until now. “This kind man has offered to take us all the way out here, so please, have some respect.”

My mother turned to me. She truly was beautiful, eyes like the pure blue sky, hair as golden as the sun in the sky. I loathed her. I looked nothing like her. With my dark, raven hair and dull grey eyes, I looked completely different from her.

I shook my head. “He is but a commoner, he should know his place.” I looked at her once more. How can she wear such outfits? She had upon her a blue blouse and black “skinny jeans” she called them. It was unsettling that one was allowed to wear something so tight. I looked down at my long black dress and tightened the bonnet around my head.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

The vehicle slowed, and eventually stopped in front of a small cottage. I stepped out and looked around at the small town we had stopped in. The skies were completely clear and the sun shone brightly everywhere. I squinted and saw that a row of quaint houses stood on the other side of our cottage. Kids laughed and frolicked about in the breezy air. It was appalling. The children were scarcely dressed and wore no shoes. As I opened my parasol to shade myself from the sun, I caught one of the children staring at me. She looked my age, with pretty brunette hair.

I walked up to her and she put her hand on her hip.

“What is this?” she inquired, “So you’re the new freak show I heard was moving into town.”

I said nothing. She took a couple of steps closer, she smelled like strawberries.

“What’s with the outfit? You part of the circus or something?”

She lost my interest and I turned away from her and started walking to the cottage. My mother and the driver were getting our bags out of the car and into the house.

“Hey!” Said the pretty girl. “Don’t you walk away from me!”

She grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me, making the skirt of my dress swish. 

“Who do you think you are?” she yelled.

I still said nothing, I simply turned, and walked into the house.

The movers were already placing furniture in the house, following the orders of my mother. I walked past them and headed up the steps to claim my room. At the top of the stairs the hallway split to the left and right. I decided to head left and I passed a bathroom, a closet and the hallway ended at a bedroom. I stepped inside, too small, I thought. I turned and went back to the right side of the hallway. This one has windows that are too big, this one will get a draft, this one is too close to the living room. I explored the bottom floor, the basement and the second floor, none of the rooms suited my tastes. I was about to pick the first room I looked at, on the second floor, when I noticed a door I hadn’t seen before.

I opened the door, it squealed on it’s hinges as it swung open and revealed a musty staircase. I ascended the steps, up into what appeared to be the attic. The floorboards creaked as I advanced towards a circular window. I peered out, the window looked out upon the streets. It let in just enough light so it wasn’t pitch dark. I headed back downstairs and told my mother I had found the perfect room.

“Okay; Which one dearest?” she asked me.

“The attic,” I replied. “It has the best space and a view of the street, it’s perfect.”

“Won’t it get a little drafty up there dear?” My mother furrowed her brow, “Are you sure you don’t want one on a lower floor?”

“If we fix it up, it will suffice,” I said sharply. I picked up a box of my belongings and walked back to the attic. I set my things down and rummaged through them. I pull out my lyre case. Pulling out the instrument, I decide to play a few notes. As I start the song, the notes drift through the attic space. The song made the air warm and the space seemed more cozy.

I could like it here...

Three Months Later

Summer was coming to an end. I could like it here. Despite the annoying neighbors and the loud neighborhood kids, the weather was pleasant and I had the place to myself half the time. I was able to do my experiments in the openness of my own home, there was no one to disturb me.

That night at dinner my mother ordered Chinese food from a small, local Chinese restaurant. She looked more tired than she usually does. “Delectable food, Mother,” I told her, hoping to make her feel better.

“Ehh,” she said, shoveling the food around on her plate.

We sat there in silence for a long time. My mother didn’t eat anything for several minutes. I finished my food and stood to rinse my dishes.

“Alice.” My mother spoke suddenly. “There aren’t any private tutors in town...” She trailed off.

“And?” I replied.

“You have to go to public school this year, darling.” She stood and looked at me with tired eyes.

I couldn’t believe this. “WHAT?” I roared, trying to knock some sense into her. “I REFUSE to go to this, public school of yours!”

“There is no other alternative. You must go, end of discussion.” She turned and started to leave, she didn’t even bother to put away the dishes.

“NO, I WONT!” I slammed my chopsticks on the table. I was alone now. Mother was gone, and I was going to public school.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

When the first day of school rolled around, I was ready to die. I had never been to public school, I’ve never even spoken to anyone else other than mother and my other tutors. What am I to do?

That dreadful morning, I got up, dressed in a simple black dress with puffed sleeves and ruffles in the skirt. I had porridge for breakfast without my mother. We haven’t spoken since she told me I was going to public school. She provided me with the things I guess were required for school. Might as well get this out of the way, I thought and I got in the car and the driver sped off without a word.

August, 18 2012

Finnick High School. The worst possible place on the entire Earth. My first day was disastrous. Everyone gawked at me as I walked down the corridors. People would shove me into walls and take my belongings. This boy in my grade would chuck chewed up wads of paper into my hair. Girls called me “freak” and told me things like “You need a fashion check” or “That is a fashion emergency.”

Other than the terrible kids who pulled my hair and stabbed me with pencils, I greatly enjoyed no other part of the day. I didn’t want to go tomorrow.  I had nowhere to sit during the lunch hour and ended up sitting in the restroom stalls.

Kids made fun of how I talk. They said I look, smell and sound too old fashioned. One of my peers said that I sounded like his great-grandmother.

And yet, despite all this, I said nothing... as usual.

I’m afraid to go to school tomorrow...

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

These kind of things happened all week. People pushing me down, hiding my things, throwing things at me, jabbing me with writing materials... it was slow and painful torture. I hid every chance I could, I skipped the worst classes, and sat near the front for the others. It kept happening, one month passed, then two, then I couldn’t take it anymore.

March 23, 2013

I’m not sorry.

It was a dreary Wednesday morning when it happened, March 22 to be exact. I had decided to cut through the back roads because it was raining buckets outside as I was walking home from school. My dress was so heavy, I needed to take it off soon. My arms had bruises and scrapes all over them. My hair was covered in spit-wads. Can’t wait to get home.

Just as I had thought that, I felt a hard lump hit my back, I fell and intense pain shot through my body. I rolled over onto my back and then I saw them. The pretty brunette girl with her two little rodents, a blonde girl that always wears pink, and a black-haired girl with her ears pierced nine times on one ear.

They surrounded me and one of them reached for the skirt of my dress and tore off a large section. She held it up in the air as if it’s some sort of trophy. As if it was a sign to join in, the others grabbed my dress and pulled as hard as they could. Tearing noises filled the air as my skirt fell apart. I attempted to throw them off but to no avail. In desperate attempts to save what was left of my dress, I grabbed the stone they menacingly threw at me as I whipped myself around to face the attackers.

I sent the stone flying at the pretty brunette’s head and the girl dropped. Her friends rushed to her side to help. I stood, picked up the rock again and walked towards them.

“What are you think you’re doing?! Please,” Said the pretty brunette girl. “Stop, it hurts!”

“You’re hurting her!” said the blond girl.

I didn’t listen to them. I kept throwing my arm down and obliterating what was left of the girls head. The pretty girl’s blood was seeping into cracks in the asphalt. Her friends both ran away in terror, as I stand and look down at the body. Not so pretty anymore are you?

It felt good, getting rid of such an abomination. I enjoyed it. I ran off to see about her companions and left her dirt stained body lying on the ground.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

“I’m doing this world a favor!” I shouted at her.

“Please stop!” The dark haired girl squealed as I dragged her towards the iron gate that led to the cemetery. I pulled her hair so that she stood next to a rectangular hole in the ground. She looked at it, not quite understanding. I pushed her a little bit closer to the edge of the hole. Then I turned and bent to pick up a shovel lying next to an enormous pile of dirt. I faced her again, fiercely brandishing the shovel. I gripped the handle tight and raised the shovel.

“NO, PLEASE!” She yelled, the fear shining in her eyes.

“It’s too late for you.” I said as I swung the shovel, knocking her unconscious. I shoved her body and with a loud ‘FLOP’ her body landed in the bottom of the hole. “Goodbye.” I said, and began to shovel in the dirt.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

I struggled to tighten the rope around her neck as she squirmed to and fro.

“STOP MOVING!” I screamed and kicked her in the stomach. She grew quiet and I finished with the rope and hopped down to face her. “You deserve this...” I paused to make sure she was listening. “You put people down to make yourself feel good, Well I am taking NO MORE OF YOUR CRAP!” I quieted and looked at her with pity.

“Please...” She whimpered as she struggled against the bindings. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it! It was Brittney and Jezabelle’s idea to bully you. PLEASE!” I looked at her in amazement. How she could just sell out her friends and apologize for all of this, only when she is about to pay the price.

“Goodbye, dear.” I kicked out the chair she was standing on, she fell and swung violently, then was still.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

It was done. Everyone, gone. I trudged through town. It was beginning to smell like death. Murders of crows began to accumulate all over town. Flies buzzed everywhere and the wildlife had taken over the town. I looked up, I was nearing the town hall, a big, grey building at one end of town. It was an ominous building, with white bars on the windows and iron statues lurking around the sides. The steps leading up between the towering pillars looked strangely welcoming. I ascended, feeling safe. I was in here only moments ago. Bodies lay everywhere, their blood leaking out onto the tiled floor. I stepped over them and went up more stairs, all the way to the top, to the roof.

It was nice out. The wind was blowing a little, and the sun was almost to the point of sinking below the trees. I had a good view of the town. Leaves swirled as the blew down the street. It was a beautiful place, it’s a shame there was no one left to take care of it. I grew tired of the view and turned and sat on a box that was abandoned on the roof. 

July 17th, 2013

They all paid, everyone who was violent or rude towards me. Everyone that ignored me or thought I was a “lost cause.” But I showed them. They all deserved to die. So I killed them all. It’s only me now. Alone in this little old town, a town that smells like death. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m so tired.

I pity them. They should have respected me. I was better than them. But now I’m alone...

I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone. I don’t like to be alone...

I don’t like to be alone! 

I close the notebook. The pages and the pen are covered in blood from my hands. Looking down, I realized I was covered in blood. The blood of everyone in town. It wasn’t hard, to kill them, I mean. There was only one cop, and the town only had one street. The school was small enough that I was able to dispose of them with ease. Now there is no one left. No one but me, alone.

Looking around tiredly I noticed I was in the town hall. On the roof, to be exact. I had forgotten. I stood and walked to the edge of the building and looked out across the town with one street. I looked down at the steps below. The marble made the sunlight bounce around and shine and sparkle. It was very pretty, and inviting. I looked out once more at the now uninhabited town, and it made me feel lonely.

The wind blew through my hair. It smelled like an evergreen forest, I could smell the pine needles.. I felt the wind blow through my hair. It was peaceful, I liked it. The sun was about to set. I turned back and stepped onto the rooftop once more. I thought once more about all of the people I had killed and... I felt terrible. They should have been more thoughtful. I turned again and stepped up onto the ledge and looked out. Goodbye, I thought, and stepped off the building. As I fell towards the shiny, marble steps, I thought of how everyone who had hurt me, couldn’t hurt me anymore, and I felt relaxed.

�-��-��-��-��-��-��-�

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

A powerfully gripping piece of writing. It pulled me into to feel for the main character and then shocked me as the carnage began. The ending was expected though for some reason. Certainly an interesting tale.

Keep writing!
Aaron - Wolfwind

[Elizabeth Johannson]

thanks :))