The airline of last resort

Never seethe over the abominable behaviour of brands. Get a story out of it! Here a greedy company and its odious representative come in contact with a young customer.

This is a story about a fictional airline called Indiblue. They were profitable, large and had an extensive network within a magical land called India. India was a special place. It had first invented air travel a few thousand years ago. The vehicle was used exclusively by divine royalty then. It would have been a beautiful spectacle to behold with its golden wings and aerodynamically perfect body structure. The most important aspect about Garuda (the name of this magnificent vehicle) was that it loved it’s passengers and would do anything to keep them happy and comfortable.

Here we’ll introduce virKaran. He was a completely dedicated member of the Indiblue customer service team in modern incredible India. virKaran had been told by the Indiblue training teams that all this talk about service and happy passengers was just a myth. They believed that Garuda would have mauled his passengers if he could have turned his neck 180 degrees. virKaran wasn’t like many of his other colleagues. He himself was a passionate believer of disrespectful, rude and patronising behaviour towards one and all. It was a philosophy for him. However he knew that India was not what it was 30 years ago. He couldnt be brazen. It had to be subtle, packaged in a polite demeanor, prefaced with Sir, and adorned with a smile. With Indiblue he had found his dream work place. Their teams trained him well into the art of fake nice.

This land India has so many incredible places. Would you believe there is a city which has a huge holy temple made of gold. Not all of it �" that would not be structurally sound �" but large parts of it is made of actual gold. What about thieves you ask? Not a chance. It has been standing for hundreds of years in its majestic glory giving solace and spiritual healing to one and all who come to seek at its door.

This story starts on a hot sweltering afternoon in this city with its golden temple. I don’t know what a flight with the ancient Garuda cost, but Indiblue charged it’s would be passengers a lot for the privilege of flying with them. In modern India people worked very hard, earned something called money and then used that to buy the privilege of flying with Indiblue. For some who weren’t earning yet, they used other people’s hard earned money to purchase the privilege of flying Indiblue. Many of these people were flying Indiblue to go to other cities in search of jobs where they could work very hard to earn money. Ram was one such seeker. He was flying to a city located two and a half thousand kilometres away in India. This beautiful place used to be a sleepy town mostly for pensioners. It was best known for its lakes. Then it was transformed into a city of electronics and technology over a single generation. It was the promised land for ambitious, talented and hard working people looking to earn a living. Ram had interviews lined up in that city and he had borrowed money to book his ticket with Indiblue. They flew direct. It had put him back by seven thousand units of money. It was somebody else’s hard earned money that he had borrowed. He was going to crash at a friend’s place in the city of technology. He had additionally borrowed three thousand five hundred units of the currency. This was to survive him for his 10 days there. He had heard the city of technology wasn’t cheap and what he was bringing wasn’t close to enough for 10 days. But he was a frugal person. He could eat idli three times a day and take the bus to his interviews. He packed his suitcases. The night before the flight wasn’t spent preparing for his interviews. It was spent on weighing his 2 suitcases �" one small, one medium �" on an analogue weighing machine at home. The small one was cabin baggage compliant. He wasn’t worried much about that. The medium one he packaged and repackaged multiple  times trying to get the weight to 15kgs.  He made some hard decisions on keeping some important (to him) stuff out. He had to carry a couple of change of clothes for the evening along with his formals. He had bought new shoes. He had an old laptop which was very heavy. He had his certificates, notebooks, and sundry other documents. It was all bare minimum now. It weighed 17kgs. He prayed and went ahead to the airport.

virKaran was having a bad day. He had ‘serviced’ five would be passengers so far. Their check in procedures had been simple and straightforward. Apart from deliberately alloting an overweight old lady the middle seat between two filled seats, he hadn’t had the opportunity to apply his vindictiveness. He extended his hand to take the ticket of the next passenger in line.

vK: Good morning Mr Ram

Ram: Hi. I’m flying to Bangalore.

Ram put his single check in bag on the weighing machine. It showed 17.1.

vK (smiling): Your bag is 2 kilos over weight.

Ram: It’s only 2 kilos. Please don’t charge me for that.

vK (still smiling): Can you please put your hand bag on the machine too.

Ram: But this is cabin bag size compliant. Surely it shouldn’t be a problem.

virKaran, still smiling, insists.

Ram complies.

vK (now smiling even more broadly): You are overweight by 8 kilos. You will have to pay for excess baggage. The charges are 400 per kilo. You have to pay three thousand two hundred.

Ram felt the beginnings of a panic attack. He couldn’t afford this. He thought if he rationally explained his situation this nice gentleman will surely understand. So that is what he did.

Ram: I’m going for interviews. I only have the bare essentials in the bag. My laptop is an old one so it is heavy. I can open and show you if you like.

Ram didn’t feel humiliated at all. He was only factually explaining his situation. What was there to be ashamed about.

virKaran couldn’t believe his luck. His mask dropped momentarily. His smile became a smirk.

vK (smirking): All luggage will have weight. Indiblue doesn’t allow this. Please pay three thousand two hundred.

virKaran could see that panic was setting in. Ram had a look of inevitable defeat writ all over his face.

Ram decided he had to swallow his pride.

Ram: Please, the bag I am checking in is only 2 kilos overweight. If you insist please allow me to pay for that. This other bag is size compliant. What difference will it make you if I take this with me. I have a fixed amount of money with me for my stay there. Please allow this.

virKaran was crying tears of joy. He had waited hours for an opportunity like this, and suddenly one had appeared in front of him. He decided to savour the moment.

vK: Sure Sir, let me try to help you.

He spent few minutes mumbling something in his walkie talkie. He made a huge song and dance about clicking on his computer. He could see Ram watching him with anticipation. Ram was hanging to his every click, every mumble and watching him with blind hope.

vK: Three thousand two hundred is the best I can do.

Ram’s world shattered around him. Like a zombie he pulled out his wallet and dug out three thousand two hundred units of Indian money. He handed them to a visibly triumphant gleeful virKaran. He was almost leaving the counter in a trance when a basic childhood instinct kicked in and Ram asked for the receipt. virKaran didn’t look too pleased about that. But he handed him the receipt anyway. It wasn’t about the money with virKaran. It was pathological with him. Being a disgusting human being to others was his fix. He was pleased to make this money for Indiblue. He knew Indiblue was the right company for him. He will do well and succeed there.

What happened to Ram you ask. He was able to survive in Bangalore on the goodwill of others. His interviews went very well and he is waiting for his results. Ram later learnt that Indiblue likes it’s staff to manhandle it’s passengers just before they get on the plane. Only recently Indiblue thought it prudent  to fire the staff that had brought to light the incident of manhandling a senior passenger. He’s discovered there is always an alternative to Indiblue. He found out there’s an airline called IndiAir that pit stops at the beautiful capital city of India. They provide meals, more legroom, and amazingly 25 kilos of baggage weight. Another airline called Virasat doesn’t bother you if your cabin bag size is compliant. Incredibly they all charge less than Indiblue. They seem to subscribe to the philosophy that it is actually their privilege that hard working people like Ram choose to fly with them. Indiblue is now Ram’s airline of last resort.

Author's Note

Honest reviews please