At Once...

When the struggle ends...

At once

Emptied, emotion poured

Leaked, at first

A vein torn

Then fountains

Pullulated from within

Fill the landscape

Ashen webs spread

Dusty tethers

Shed flakes long

Sanded away

By scuffled wrists

These knees

Calloused, hours spent

Rested upon

Sharpened gravel spits

Rest eases

Bindings broken apart

Tide trickles away, emptied

At once

Author's Note

All suggestions and comments welcome.

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

There is some pretty vivid, profound imagery going on in here, I have to say.. It intensifies the emotion felt by the reader brilliantly.. The flow adds another layer of intensity as you push us along with your dark images and painful feelings, until we feel drained and empty at the end.. I like the short, concise lines--they add to the flow and strength of words and emotion.. I really enjoyed this, nice job:)

[J. Land]

Thank you, April. I appreciate your kindness.

[AprilRN1210]

You're welcome.. was all truth.. I truly enjoyed..

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...Thank you for penning...:)......................

[J. Land]

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your encouraging words.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....

[A. Amos]

I enjoyed the way you created your own world and invited readers to enjoy the view...simply splended!

[J. Land]

Thank you.

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Jack Wolfe]

At once
Emptied, emotion poured
Leaked, at first
A vein torn

Great imagery (of course the double e caught me)

Pullulated, been a long time since I had to look up a word, thank you.

These knees
Calloused, hours spent
Rested upon
Sharpened gravel spits

This was the core, and dynamic in my opinion. Another well versed piece.

[J. Land]

Thank you, Jack. I do apply assonance (or being an a*s?) a bit. I appreciate your encouragement and am glad you enjoyed it.

[Frieda P]

A read full of hope, and anticipation. It's such a luverly feeling when the struggle ends...

Then fountains
Pullulated from within
Fill the landscape

My favorite....well done J.

[J. Land]

Thank you, Frieda. I'm glad it connected with you. A tremendous compliment from one so talented.

[Frieda P]

You're sweet to say J. It was my pleasure....