Losing Balance

Please read my notes about this piece. I have posted this piece of mine due to recent conversations with a very good writer called Nicholas Bernard Rowe.

I turn from your evil ways, you’re the part of me that’s too weak

I have been a slave to your ignorance and I will dwell no longer

Oh, look who is emerging from the darkness into the light
Can you hear him screaming; oh did he give you a fright

I'm not gonna cower anymore, I'm fighting back. Run?, Yes I think you should
My anger makes everyone look the same and I'm sure that can't be good

 

Don't it just piss you off that you're frightened and crying yet noone comes
Good and bad, right and wrong I now say bollocks to those sums

I only feel emotion when you scream "stop" and power when you die
I understand your questions b***h but no f****r ever told me why

"It's nothing personal", that's what they all say so don’t be sad
It's not my fault, It's this world that turns a good man bad

 

Freedom is a fantasy in this world but vengeance provides me a portal
I felt dead for many years but now with darkness holding my hand I am immortal

I'll kill myself soon enough when I've no humanity left to sell
As for all you fuckers who ruined my life, I will see you in hell

I am tired of acting so here I am, just a broken boy too late to save
Please write 'Here lies a boy misunderstood' on my grave

Copyright 'The Human Voice' 1995-2012. All rights reserved.

Author's Note

One of the first ever pieces I wrote, maybe as far back as twenty year ago. I have had many conversations about the toxins in our society that contaminate souls, souls that go on to do such un-human things. I hid this piece because, well it scares me, but was asked to publish it about 5 years ago just after the Virginia Tech shooting in America, at the time described as the worst peacetime gun massacre in American history. Sadly another such event has happened recently. I thank the Higher Power every day that I managed to evict the darkness and harness its power for positive effect. I could so easily have become something very dark. I feel that as a society we just treat the crime, not the criminal. Unless we dissect our society we can never know what contaminates have contributed to polluting these souls. We must look at the criminal and start to change the adhesive nature of our automatic responses, denial and false comforts. All of humanity must take responsibility for its members. Inaction is doing more to create the world today than action, that can not be right.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

It goes to a dark place and tugs at my soul. Ignorance is not bliss but a destructive force in our society, I know this all too well.

'Don't it just piss you off that you're frightened and crying yet noone comes
Good and bad, right and wrong I now say bollocks to those sums'

Those lines really stuck in my head, thank you so much for sharing this.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Thank you, suprised I got away with the foul language, have not used them since I wrote this peice. I just felkt this needed that extra shock value.

[Frieda P]

ha 'bollocks' is tame my sweet, I much like that term, we don't use it much here, that and 'bloody' I'm quite fond of since my UK friend uses it all the time. Sometimes you just need it for emphasis...it's all good. ;-)

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Strange how words lose their power over time, to be called b*****d is today 'C' word. I have fears for the futur art of insulting, ha ha

[Frieda P]

Oh that one I can't stomach...that's a no for me...and I have a pretty high tolerance for cuss words.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

lol

[Frieda P]

ha you know how us 'girls' are about that one....

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Yeah, I never use it, An ex girlfriend and I played a game of replacing swear words with a theme, so one week may be fairytales. So if we were about to swear we had to change to something else, eg oh For Cinderella's sake, if we swore we put money in a jar. It became amusing when out in public. We did cartoon characters once and she said out loud in a supermarket once this daffy ducking supermarket is utter count dracula! LMAO

[Frieda P]

Oh peanut butter pumps that sounds like fun! ha ;-)

[Shadey Jadey]

I am not sure yet as to why, but this piece has really stuck the core of my being. The powerful sense I got from reading this is just amazing. This has to be my favourite on the whole site. Keep up the good work Xxx

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Thank you most kindly, I think this peice is a little braver than most of us would care to risk. It has ben mentioned before that the silent screams are inside of us all but they are just a little to scary to admit, even to ourselves. I appreciate your comments, thank you

[TLK]

I think the key to this poem is the first two lines: what follows is a pure explanation of emotion, but the reasons for these emotions are there right at the beginning.

"I turn from your evil ways, you’re the part of me that’s too weak
I have been a slave to your ignorance and I will dwell no longer"
This would work equally well whether the thing inside you is Ignorance itself, personified; or the control of some other person who has indoctrinated you; or even if were society itself, expecting you to live within some ideological framework that makes you betray yourself in some way (we do expect a majority of the worlds' population to put up with existences that we wouldn't wish upon our pets).

I have also written about ignorance recently, in more than one poem/prose poem -- but this is the most obvious of 'em:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/TLK/1101368/

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Thank you, this piece is about retribution, vengeance and losing that grip on compassion. Striking out at the demons that have enslaved you. Thank fully I only ever had the thought and the faith to not act upon them.

[frivolous treasures]

Eloquently written. Your last line really hit home... and made the piece more meaningful, though the whole verse was deep. Beautifully dark...
I agree, there are so many... toxins (as you say)... in our society and it is the matter of being free of these toxins that is the problem.... anyways I could write and rant about it all day, but I'll spare my boring-ness lol...

Beautiful write. Well done, sir :)

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

It is nice to hear from you again, Feel free to rant as that is why I came on here. In every day society it is hard to find those willing to admit emotion let alone share it!

[frivolous treasures]

Thanks, it was refreshing to read a good poem... I've been so busy but I'll try to make it on here more often when I can. I am more than willing to share how I feel... especially with the way things are now in modern society... lol But it was good to read a great verse, especially one that addresses problems in society... very well done, sir :)