Demons

I think thoughts that I know I should not be thinking

But I know that it's not the real me that thinks them

I see things that don't really exist or happen

I don't know whose eyes I see them with but they are not mine

I act in ways that my soul knows is so very wrong

It feels though that it's not my body that acts and performs

Sounds and actions change in a split second

Words are muffled and changed like Chinese whispers

Faces all look the same and seem to be looking at me

Voices are muted and subtitled in my mind

This reflection in my mirror is not mine

And I have not been myself for a very long time

Copyright 'The Human Voice' 2012

Reviews

[Steelwine]

This was very interesting to read through twice. The first time literally (I like theological fantasy a little more than I should) as a host reflecting on his possession by a demon; the second time symbolically, as a person trying to understand how his actions have twisted his own view of himself. Both interpretations were incredibly enjoyable. This is very well-written, your style is impeccable (especially that last couplet).

If you're looking for some constructive criticism, I would suggest to attempt more obvious enjambment to make the lines flow into each other more fluidly. The last three lines have a very charming rhyme with the long "I" sound, but it stands out a bit as a perfect rhyme against all of the (unintended?) imperfect rhymes you have in the previous lines. You could try incorporating that sound into the rest of the poem.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

I never design my work, I scream the emotion through my pen and then leave it alone. I have no idea about poetry, 'enjambment' 'couplet' sorry but these words are lost on me. I place my words only because humanity needs to learn to share. We all think that our emotions are unique to us, but when we share we come to find that our personal demons actually stalk hundreds of others, somehow that realization scares them away and makes life a little better. My personal demon was paranoia, making me see the things it wanted so that the dark thick sludge of depression continued to flow instead of blood. Thank you so much for you amazing review though. I came here to get some confidence as I hid these for so long, thank you so much.

[Craba]

deep, personal write. Quite emotional & well penned.

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Thank you for reading,

[Pax]

I call them dark thoughts or darkness that creeps in the corners of our mind...
"This reflection in my mirror is not mine
And I have not been myself for a very long time"
~I often wonder it as well...in times I've changed so much that i forgot the old me...but that's life...we change everyday, learn every seconds...so what we do we keep heading forward and do something for the better...

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Yes in my deepest darkest days I was looking through clingfilm to see out of the yes of a body that was no longer mine into the mirror and body that was not mine either. You are correct about moving forward, but not unitl you have understood the meaning. If you do not put a moment to rest it can haunt you for ever and cause you to walk circles. We must look for the meaning in all our experiences, good and bad.

[Pax]

I totally agree my friend. there is hidden meaning in every challange, I've learned something from you... great work!

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Damn that was out of the eyes of a body, not out of the yes, ha ha ha. Read what you write is the most important lesson here obviously lol