The Ocean

Huge Thank you to Idril Pallanen for sorting our the poor grammar of my 19 year old self!!! :-)

THE OCEAN

The sun sets over the dreams before my eyes as the tide laps around my ankles, sending shivers so sharp and so cold up my spine. In an ocean is where I spend my life. In front me the water tumbles, twists and rolls like play fighting children. I cannot contain the water, it will hold no shape. Never shall I grip it, nor call it mine. 

All that is behind me pushes itself into my back and what is before me presses its promise into my mind. The empty horizon pulls me; I can feel it sucking me in like a vacuum but I resist and remain motionless. I am anchored by my conscience, the lines and acts I have performed. 

The words I speak do not reveal me, they are spoken for the pleasure of the listener. The actions I undertake do not represent me, they are preformed for the benefit of the beholder. I have torn the clothing from other lives and built myself a tapestry. 

Acceptance is painless but getting there is agony and the tide is coming in again now. It's deeper now, gathering around my knees; it gets deeper and deeper until it's around my waist. All it takes is a step forward but I cannot bring myself to move. I also can not bear to turn around, so I walk backwards and out of the consuming depth. In an ocean is where I spend my life. 

I sit on a bench and ask why, always sitting on a bench wondering why. What is in those depths I cannot bear to immerse in. I know that if I could face my fears, I shall not drown; fear is the anchor that will drag me under, the anchor that will hold me still to mold like stagnant water. 

I walk, held fast to the ground, but it's not gravity that keeps me here. On a bench I sit, asking myself what keeps me here. The tide is coming in again now; it's deeper, this time lapping around my soul. I just cannot let go, so I start walking backwards. The sun sets over the dreams before my eyes and the tides have ebbed away. 

I stand unmoved but ignorant enough to wonder why. I scream out to the skies to carry me to my destination. I deny that I play a part in the construction of my destiny as it would fill me with the responsibility and shift the blame to me. So silently I understand that the tides will always ebb away and I will be here asking why, even though I know the answers I seek. Merely paddling in the ocean is how I spend my life. 

 

 

 

©Mark Anthony Games / The Diary Of A Broken Child 20012. All Rights Reserved®

Reviews

[Shadey Jadey]

I love this line
'All that is behind me pushes itself into my back and what is before me presses its promise into my mind.'
Beautiful, deep write :)Xxx

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

this is quite a lovely poem/story thing. There are a few grammatical things here and there, but I really love it. It's well written and your choice of words here work well for the message of the poem. Well done, mellon (tengwar for friend).

[Mark Anthony Games (Human Voice)]

Please help with the grammar x x x x, what do I need to change :-)

[Lucy Morningstar ♥]

Ill send a message :)

[Lucy Morningstar ♥]

lol thanks for the shout out :D