Apostasy

A poem I wrote for a class. It was a "form" poem and because I despise writing to fit into a form I wrote the poem and found an appropriate form, then edited some. Please review!

Apostasy

 

Sometimes I still talk to a god I don’t believe in,

heaving curses and questions at someone’s “big guy upstairs,”

getting no answers and expecting even fewer

from the all seeing deity I gave up on fearing.

They tell me “God has a plan” and then never really care

if something awful happens, even if little pewter

 

babies crackle and shatter from cancer or AIDS

because “God can’t interfere or we’ll be left

with no free will.” But how much free will could they have felt

in their days of being poked and prodded in so many ways?

Reviews

[J Todd Underhill]

There are so many things about this poem I like, the honesty the presentation, the comfort that the words seem to give to the person writing. I am a believer but respect the rights of all around me to believe as they choose even if that choice is not to believe. Well written!

[Shawn M]

Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thanks even more for respecting the rights of others. I try to as well, and hope that people never feel their faith being attacked by what I write. I just try to follow my teacher's advice; "Write what you know."

[J Todd Underhill]

great advice, and if I can add some, write from your heart about what you know and things will work grand for you!

[Baby Ricochet]

I guess you didn't like my original review because you deleted it. That's okay. It's your page, you're entitled to do whatever you want on it but you did ask me to read this piece in your review of my piece "Where Was God In That" so I did. Sorry you didn't like my comments.

[Shawn M]

I did ask you to read, and I appreciate you coming to do so. I respect your opinions, it's just that the particular opinions you chose to express were not really directed at the poem itself, and felt more like personal rants.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's okay. I understand

[Kenzi Griffin]

Amazing write, very deep.

[Shawn M]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the read. :)

[Moebia]

Oh my goodness I love this and I'm not just saying it out of kindness.
Honestly, this is my whole outlook on religion in one single poem.
It's not only the words you use, but the WAY you word things that really give the reader this "whoa" impact. For example, the line "babies crackle and shatter from cancer or AIDS". Those words, cackle and shatter, have painted a far more bleak and perhaps fiercer imagine than just "die". The word choice was honestly amazing. I especially love the first 3 lines. Wow, this was just amazing. GREAT read.

[Shawn M]

Yaaaay! Thank you so much! I'm a little worried about some of my word choice, but I'm hoping that the good bits outshine the weak bits so much that no one notices. ;)