Darkness Sweeps

well i wrote this one day cuz i was feeling depressed. i feel i haven't changed all that much since then in the depressing feeling >.>;

Darkness Sweeps

 

Darkness is like a broom

No, not in the good meaning

Good brooms clean up the messes,

make them go away

The broom that is darkness though

Is different

It comes when you feel all of that

Sorrow and loss

This brrom "cleans" your mind of all that was once good

It takes all of the good "mess" and sweeps it away,

until it's just a pile off in the corner where no one will step on it

And then-almost promptly-thrown

away.

That is how darkness sweeps

It sweeps

For the mess that is your last shred of

Happiness

Author's Note

well what do u think? O.o too cynical or plain or something?

Reviews

[Sarah]

I liked this - definitely a unique comparison to sorrow and depression as a "broom" that sweeps happiness out of your mind. Very nice! (I like your profile picture, btw. L FTW. xD)

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

i really like it. again, it has deep thought, it has meaning behind it all. and most of all it cought my attention and emotion. great work. i guess im a fan of a fan, lol.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I like how you use a broom sweeping away the good memories as the main subject in your story. In a way, it does seem that depression overtakes everything including any happy memories that you have had. It is very hard to focus on anything but the pain you feel inside and I think this poem does well to say that. Thank you for writing and sharing.

"mess taht is your last " --- that.

[djeehc09]

cool. the flow and structure doesn't seem to be there... at all. I like the metaphor, sounds scary and yet true.

[Adventerous Amy]

....................................................................................... speechless i feel it couldn't be better!!!!
;-) O>O i like it!
----