Love You, Loved You

The aftermath of a broken heart.

You weren't my life, but you were a part of it.

You weren't the man of my dreams, but my time with you was better than a dream.

You made me feel safe and now I scan the room in fear of you being there.

You told me you loved me but you didn't fight to keep us alive.

I wanted to beg you to stay, but how can I ask you to stay with someone who doesn't bring you joy?

I want to claw away at my throat and take back the words that now pierce my soul.

I want to rip away at the hands you held because now they are just a cruel reminder of your absence.

The laugh that once sent shivers down my spine from joy now feels like a dagger in my heart.

I can picture your smile and I miss it now more than anything.

Everything and everywhere is a reminder of you.

The one place where I felt perfectly safe is now gone forever.

I can never go back there.

Every smell and sight that reminds me of you leaves me feeling empty and dragged down.

Do you know what the worst part is?

I still love you and I don't know if I can stop.

How can I let my love die?

Love is a part of me, if I kill my love for you I am killing a part of myself.

Sleep is the only true relief.

I can't cry long enough to do any good.

It's hard to breathe when I see you, my broken heart stops because I don't know what to do.

I change from forgetting about you, to wanting to run into your arms, to wanting to hurt you, to wanting to hurt myself.

Please change your mind.

Please come back to me.

It hurts too much without you.

It's too late.

I lost you.

I lost myself.

I'm lost.

Help.

I care too much, I always care too much.

Did you care?

I thought you did but now I can't tell.

I loved you. 

I love you.

Loving you hurts now.