Chapter Five

 Chapter 5

The next day I woke up around eleven and took a shower. While I was in there I let the burning water hit my skin, the water was up as high as it went but it felt cold as ice, when I got out my skin was sunburn red. I pulled on a pair of my favorite black skinny jeans and a blue plaid shirt with my blue converses and walked down the stairs. On the walls going down the stairs were pictures of our family school pictures, vacation photos, family portraits, that kind of stuff ,I went down and saw Ethan’s most recent school picture he had long hair that flipped up at the bangs and ends he was  wearing a yellow polo shirt, moms choice of course, and his eyes and smile made him look like the happiest person in the world. I reached out and touched his cheek in the picture the glass from the frame made it hard and cold but I knew that in real life it was warm and soft. I finished walking down the stairs and saw my mother talking on the phone crying.

“Yes, he was in an accident” she said into the phone her voice shaking “thank you I’ll get more information to you as soon as possible. Thank you.” And she hung up the phone.

“G’morning.” I said as I walked over to the open box of donuts sitting on the counter “who was that?”

“Your school I had to call and tell them…”her voice trailed off

“Oh, what are going to do mom?” I asked moving paperwork off the table so I could sit and eat.

She looked at me and my father came into the room “I….I don’t know  yet, but its going to be okay”

I remembered what Dr. Johnston said last night “everyone will tell you that it is but it won’t be” I stood up from the table and put my plate in the dishwasher.

“Hey” I said hesitantly “I need to clear my head you know with al this I’m going to go on a walk okay?”

My father looked at me with and odd look on his face but then it relaxed “Just be careful Lex, okay?”

“I will be” I promised as I walked out the door headed towards the hospital.

 I knew Ethan wouldn’t be there but a piece of me felt like if I looked hard or long enough he would be. I walked at a normal pace for the first couple of blocks but then I started walking faster and faster until my legs were numb and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest.

I was jogging when I reached the parking lot but slowed to a stroll as I walked in the sliding doors. It was the same receptionist as last night as I walked past her desk she called me over.

“Hello, how may I help you?” she asked

She was wearing a pair of scrubs that had care bears on them, she had light brown hair that was pulled back in a ponytail, her skin was pale and she had freckles on the bridge of her nose, her eyes were brown, and her smile was very wide and toothy.

“Hello, er, Jessica.” I said reading her name tag “I’m just going to visit a friend of mine I’ll be out in minute” and I began to once again walk past her desk.

“I heard about your brother.” She called “no matter how many times you look he won’t be here”

I turned around on the heel of my chucks so that it made a squeak “Excuse me?” I said my voice cold as ice

“He’s not here and no matter what he won’t be…ever so stop wasting your time” she said

“I don’t think its any of your business how I spend my time or the where abouts of…” I couldn’t bring myself to say his name. “You know what I don’t need to stand here and listen to your stupid s**t! You can’t just go around judging people!” By this time I was yelling at her at the top of my lungs “I should come around there and kick your a*s for talking to me like that”

All of a sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder I turned around and saw a big strong security guard. “Excuse me Miss but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Ask me to leave did you hear what that b***h said to me” I argued

“Alex you’re here!” said a voice from behind me

I turned around and there was the doctor from last night. I looked at him questionably.

 He turned to the security guard. “She’s one of my patients. I’ll take it from here.” Then he grabbed my arm and pulled me away into an empty elevator.

“How many times within a 24 hour period am I gonna have to save your a*s?”

“Hey, you didn’t have to I could have taken on that stupid b***h.”

“And the security guard would have arrested you. What are you doing here anyway?”

I looked down at the floor it was gray rug with a stain near the door, I didn’t want to know what it was.

“You weren’t looking for him again were you?” Dr. Johnston asked with a look of concern in his eyes

I continued looking down.

“Alex.” He said kneeling down so that he was the around the same height as me. “You can’t do this to yourself you have to accept this”

A single tear fell down my cheek.

“Don’t cry, you have friends and family who will help you through it, don’t you?”

I nodded and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

The doors opened and he stood up and took me into the same room as last night, I sat down and looked at him and smiled but just as I did I  shuttered and a sob came out. Then there was a beep, he looked down and unclipped something off of his waist. “I just got a call but I’ll be back in a little while you can chill here or go home or do what ever it is you do when your not threatening to beat up nurses but I’ll come back later.” and  he turned around and left.