Voices

A girl hearing voices. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

                     Eyes, cold and dark like the night sky, plead for love when I'm gone,

  Wrapped with the voices of your sins.

                            Lips, subtle lips which go wanting, My lush, lustful Lilith.

Hair, a tormented cascade of brown waves, the water you defiled when you spoke of your betrayal.

                                Skin, like living marble, a statuette of my dreams.

 

        

         I know I cannot break you.

 

 

                          Your clamorous touch makes me experience undeath.

     Your skin turns a sickly blue.

                          While in your watchful eye, you regret not taking me...

 

 

      WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!

 

                     *click*

 

...that look...                ...your skin...

                        ...your eyes...                         ...your face...

 

     ...your lips...                     

       ...your hair...           ...your soul's embrace...

 

...is sold...                          

 ...so cold...                    ...cheap and evil...

 

               ...much hate to love...                     

                        

             

                                  "Yet you are an angel, my guardian, my dove."

 

                      *CALM*

 

 

"Ahhhh, blood everywhere!"                              BLOOD

   "You stupid girl!"

 

                           

                        "Elizabeth, please stand up and tell everyo------SHUT UP!!!!                                 

 BLOOD             

 

                      *trickle*                     

                                    Vomiting      purple                   

                                     "Don't hit me!!!"

                 green      

                                   yellow

 

*Urgh*                                   THROWING UP...

 

                                 "Mommy, I feel sick, please don't hit me!"

 

 

 

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

                                   blood

 

          "No,I'm a good girl!"                                    *SOB*                                  

                                      "I love you"

   *slap slap*                               DEATH                       

 

                          LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Liz?                

                 Liz?                         Eliza----

 

 

          --beth!                  ...ELIZABETH...

 

 

*STOP*

 

"Liz?".........."Elizabeth?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"We were talking about why your friends wanted you to come and see a psychiatrist, but you drifted off."

 

"Oh. Sorry."

 

"So, let me ask you once again, why are you here?"

 

                       ??????????????

 

 

                                    (My mind is bleeding a myriad of thoughts.)

                               (And you are the only one who can cradle them.)

 

                         *click*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I thought the 'click' sound would be a good way of showing how the brain moves from one thing to the other.
Also, the reason the pic I chose for this poem is a grey eye, it's to show how thoughts are often pictured as being wispy and intangible, and here, Elizabeth's thoughts have formed a grey, smoking iris in her eye.

Reviews

[J.Black]

I really, really, really wish that I wrote something like this, or even had the frame of mind to write this.
It''s so well done, I actually think I might favourite this!
It's written so well, I stayed focused until the very last word of click, which by the way WAS a great touch.
Very much indeed, a GOOD read!
Cheers,
keep on writing.
I hope to read more like this from you.
x

[KUFU]

Yeah, KICK A*S VERSES! Yer still young and brash! My head hurt after reading this! You took a manic rant and turned it into gold with pacing, spacing and sheer audacity! Don't stop rippin down those walls. I really needed to read an energetic piece like this. Full of youthful strength, soul searching and impetuousness.
Thanks for the rush!

[R J Askew]

Bloody hell...this is a storm! Lot of vigour going on in this dramtic poem. The mind is a totally astonishing notion. In fact it is so astonishing it is difficult for it to take itself in.

[Last Lying Look]

That was absolutely amazing. I really liked the whole 'click' thing because it does show how minds jump from one thing to the next and I found that very original. Plus the structure and set up of the poem really showed how the thoughts kept changing and such.

Another thing I really liked about this were these lines:
"Hair, a tormented cascade of brown waves, the water you defiled when you spoke of your betrayal.

Skin, like living marble, a statuette of my dreams.

I know I cannot break you."

This was a very remarkable piece. And extremely great read.
Keep it up! :)

-Elissa

[Ravenskald]

Experimental, I like, almost terrifying and you choose Lilith as a personification, drawing the percieved link between mental ill health and demonic possession. We all have our demons and this one you have made tangibly real.

~Raven

[darkgurl]

This is a most powerful write here. It's true one minute we think of somthing and the next minute something else. So this is a very interesting write. You do have a knack for writing....Kim

[Moonlit-Blues]

Wow, very very powerful piece, something that's gripped me and held me in suspense, reading on before I could even think about stopping. Loved how you arranged it, thought it worked marvellously well! Fabulous job!! Adding to my favourites, cheers for the gripping read!

[Idioteque]

Wow, what do you say to that? ... So well done! I started reading this and got completely engulfed in it! It was weird, the pace at which I read it; I usually take my time and go from thought to thought trying to keep a crisp understanding of whatever it was that I just read, but I sped through this because I couldn't wait to see what was scattering through the head of this women! I have yet to read a piece of your work that I was not thoroughly impressed with. Extremely impressive! Nice job man.

[Aspiring Angel]

Inteligent and riviting! Wonderful work here.

Blessings,
Lesa

[Bliss]

Wow...............