Voices

A girl hearing voices. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

                     Eyes, cold and dark like the night sky, plead for love when I'm gone,

  Wrapped with the voices of your sins.

                            Lips, subtle lips which go wanting, My lush, lustful Lilith.

Hair, a tormented cascade of brown waves, the water you defiled when you spoke of your betrayal.

                                Skin, like living marble, a statuette of my dreams.

 

        

         I know I cannot break you.

 

 

                          Your clamorous touch makes me experience undeath.

     Your skin turns a sickly blue.

                          While in your watchful eye, you regret not taking me...

 

 

      WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!

 

                     *click*

 

...that look...                ...your skin...

                        ...your eyes...                         ...your face...

 

     ...your lips...                     

       ...your hair...           ...your soul's embrace...

 

...is sold...                          

 ...so cold...                    ...cheap and evil...

 

               ...much hate to love...                     

                        

             

                                  "Yet you are an angel, my guardian, my dove."

 

                      *CALM*

 

 

"Ahhhh, blood everywhere!"                              BLOOD

   "You stupid girl!"

 

                           

                        "Elizabeth, please stand up and tell everyo------SHUT UP!!!!                                 

 BLOOD             

 

                      *trickle*                     

                                    Vomiting      purple                   

                                     "Don't hit me!!!"

                 green      

                                   yellow

 

*Urgh*                                   THROWING UP...

 

                                 "Mommy, I feel sick, please don't hit me!"

 

 

 

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

                                   blood

 

          "No,I'm a good girl!"                                    *SOB*                                  

                                      "I love you"

   *slap slap*                               DEATH                       

 

                          LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Liz?                

                 Liz?                         Eliza----

 

 

          --beth!                  ...ELIZABETH...

 

 

*STOP*

 

"Liz?".........."Elizabeth?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"We were talking about why your friends wanted you to come and see a psychiatrist, but you drifted off."

 

"Oh. Sorry."

 

"So, let me ask you once again, why are you here?"

 

                       ??????????????

 

 

                                    (My mind is bleeding a myriad of thoughts.)

                               (And you are the only one who can cradle them.)

 

                         *click*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I thought the 'click' sound would be a good way of showing how the brain moves from one thing to the other.
Also, the reason the pic I chose for this poem is a grey eye, it's to show how thoughts are often pictured as being wispy and intangible, and here, Elizabeth's thoughts have formed a grey, smoking iris in her eye.

Reviews

[J.Black]

I really, really, really wish that I wrote something like this, or even had the frame of mind to write this.
It''s so well done, I actually think I might favourite this!
It's written so well, I stayed focused until the very last word of click, which by the way WAS a great touch.
Very much indeed, a GOOD read!
Cheers,
keep on writing.
I hope to read more like this from you.
x

[Brandon Mathis]

Very different i like!!!

[HopelesslyDevoted]

great structure to this poem! its extremely unique, i've never seen anyone else write something this way. and yes click is a great of describing the thought pattern of the brain. the thinker in this poem is so...random... and yet you found a way to show that and make it understandable at the same time in this poem. i'm impressed!

[Scott Christian]

I've read this over a few times in the past couple of minutes. I've never seen such a perfect representation of a jumbled internal dialogue. Excellent uses of alliteration and a great build-up to the ending.

[Alicante lullaby]

Ohhh.i'm looking forward to read more of you.

[Livenrite]

I usually don't but I loved the fornat of your piece. It added a lot and it was very facinating. Thanks for sharing:)

its magnificent and chaotic. I love how it jumped around the place.
Fantastic, a brilliant write.
-Satan's Toaster

[Minyonka]

Wow. That was amazing. The thoughts switching so suddenly really makes one think of what Elizabeth must be going through. Then, of course, there's the format of it. It's all broken up and scattered, like the thoughts as they pass through her mind. Very good. I very much enjoyed reading this.

[*Evelen*]

Wow this is an amazing poem, well written. I like how everything seems to jump out at you all at once. Good job.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

wow i love this poem it is amazing ...

[Andrew'sWonderland]

I absolutely love the format and flow of the poem!! An Intriguing and Incredible Write!!