Turn

A conversation between me and my conscience. I had written it the night before a Chemistry exam (Don't bother asking how I went in it. Lol) so as to both experience and capture the feelings of being pressurised.

Tick Tock

Tick Tock

BOOM goes the clock.

Before you know it

Your time has run out.

Waiting, hoping,

Dreaming, screaming, wanting to shout.

I know I'm not good enough.

"So why did you do it?"

Because I'm an idiot!

Stupid, Selfish,

Painful...Drama.

If only I could

Turn

The timer around

To the place where sense was found.

"Sense?" Jim tells me. "Pfft, you lack it."

In the hollow knowledge

Of my genetics.

 

Why couldn't life be

SIMPLE ("You already are!")

Taking the teachings you were born to do

Instead of screaming

BLUE MURDER

Of how life was cruel to you

"Shame, it must have dealt you a bad clue."

Shut up, cricket, or I'll s**t on you!

...

...

...

Like surgery in one's fragile soul,

Drawing details

Of Turning your pace.

 

 

 

Author's Note

In this poem, I talk to myself and have sarcastic arguments with my conscience, who takes the form of a cricket, representing Jimmeny Cricket from 'Pinnochio'. There are also some play on words, such as the last stanza: "Of Turning your pace." Over here, the word 'Turning', capitalised to show its importance, means two things. (1) turning, as in, literally turning your body around to face another direction, and (2) turning the hands of a clock backwards and going back in time, to where 'sense was found', i.e., where I made the mistake in the first place.
The poem talks about the possibility of my taking the wrong academic subjects, and that right now, as we speak, I am going on for the wrong profession.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mr. Misanthrope,

As did the rest of your reviewers, I also greatly enjoyed your piece. Having conversations with one's self is not uncommon. Now I'm sure everyone's inner struggles take on somewhat different forms. When I'm thinking things through, while generally there is definitely a "conversation" going on, it doesn't seem to me that there are two individuals talking even if contrary and opposing positions are being thought through. However the use of conversation to resolve positions has deep cultural roots in both Eastern and Western philosophy, certainly made famous in Plato's Socratic dialogues and the Eastern dharmic dialectics of the Mahabharata. So this type of thinking seems to be deep rooted into Man's being.

Regarding criticism of the poem, the only minor point I would raise is that if you want the nature of the parties holding the conversation in your head to be more well defined, I'd spend a few more words in painting them. The "cricket" nature of one of the speakers comes as a bit of a surprise and it would be better for the poem to make this clear rather than to rely on notes. (Even though I am a big believer in notes for poetry, I try to restrict the notes to explaning aspects of the poem that might need deeper familiarity with the material than would be expected of the general reader. For your audience here, most will be familiar with Jiminy Cricket. So only a few words are needed to set the stage.)

A very nice write. Greatly enjoyed.

Best regards,

Rick

[LadyRouge]

This is the first poem of your I think I have read and I'm impressed. Your writing is very good. I really enjoyed this poem. Your word choice/combimation of words really made the poem a delight to read. Great job!

[rogue_butterfly]

wow!!! hey i talk to myself to so i know how that goes and it isn't in the best sence but great work really. ^_^

[Ravenskald]

This is pretty wonderful !

""Shame, it must have dealt you a bad clue."
Shut up, cricket, or I'll s**t on you!"

My favourite line, sort of sum sit up !

~Raven

[J.Black]

It's funny how you can come up with such a brilliant piece when your mind should be focusing on something more important eh? Other then that, I just need to take a breath and say wow.

I always fight with myself, always.

Wonderful write!

[Anima Inspired]

The fights we have with ourselves are the most difficult that we will ever face... Truly the most important thing, the thing that we should all strive for, is to become friends with ourselves...to love and understand that part of ourselves that we call "conscience" so that when our mind (or our heart) tells us something we can follow it without question... Nicely written.

[octane143]

Wow...this is great! I think we've all had these talks with ourselves. I really like the sarcasm and cynicism it
adds to the surreal quality to it. great peice!

[[untitled]]

BLUE MURDER
Of how life was cruel to you
"Shame, it must have dealt you a bad clue."
Shut up, cricket, or I'll s**t on you!

These lines really speak, as far as talking to yourself as long as you don't answer yourself you should be fine, well written I like this.

[Angel Baby]

I have lived with these life decisions and it isn't always easy. Always thought I would be a journalist instead I have spent most of life doing Customer Service. Even thought I wanted to get into the medical field, pay lot's of money for school ....only to find out it wasn't my passion....sorry now to have wasted so much time....I say follow your heart....have no regrets. Wonderful write, I really enjoyed this read. Thanks!

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

i think we all talk to your self... hell I do... but me and conscience scream at each other... though it was a rather great poem.... or talking with your self.... great job!!!!

Lacey

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

oh gosh, I know that feeling too well. Going on the wrong profession. But you are finding yourself, curious, why do you torment to do something you do not maybe love, or are passionate about? or maybe your passion does lie there and more? I liked the clock, very symbolic of time. Duh! lol, but more than that, it says that time is running out, and the punishment of the subject at hand is ever so great, and the cricket, it also so symbolic of noise, and the madness that may be at hand for the slightest second, great work Luke! -----mishel