Turn

A conversation between me and my conscience. I had written it the night before a Chemistry exam (Don't bother asking how I went in it. Lol) so as to both experience and capture the feelings of being pressurised.

Tick Tock

Tick Tock

BOOM goes the clock.

Before you know it

Your time has run out.

Waiting, hoping,

Dreaming, screaming, wanting to shout.

I know I'm not good enough.

"So why did you do it?"

Because I'm an idiot!

Stupid, Selfish,

Painful...Drama.

If only I could

Turn

The timer around

To the place where sense was found.

"Sense?" Jim tells me. "Pfft, you lack it."

In the hollow knowledge

Of my genetics.

 

Why couldn't life be

SIMPLE ("You already are!")

Taking the teachings you were born to do

Instead of screaming

BLUE MURDER

Of how life was cruel to you

"Shame, it must have dealt you a bad clue."

Shut up, cricket, or I'll s**t on you!

...

...

...

Like surgery in one's fragile soul,

Drawing details

Of Turning your pace.

 

 

 

Author's Note

In this poem, I talk to myself and have sarcastic arguments with my conscience, who takes the form of a cricket, representing Jimmeny Cricket from 'Pinnochio'. There are also some play on words, such as the last stanza: "Of Turning your pace." Over here, the word 'Turning', capitalised to show its importance, means two things. (1) turning, as in, literally turning your body around to face another direction, and (2) turning the hands of a clock backwards and going back in time, to where 'sense was found', i.e., where I made the mistake in the first place.
The poem talks about the possibility of my taking the wrong academic subjects, and that right now, as we speak, I am going on for the wrong profession.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mr. Misanthrope,

As did the rest of your reviewers, I also greatly enjoyed your piece. Having conversations with one's self is not uncommon. Now I'm sure everyone's inner struggles take on somewhat different forms. When I'm thinking things through, while generally there is definitely a "conversation" going on, it doesn't seem to me that there are two individuals talking even if contrary and opposing positions are being thought through. However the use of conversation to resolve positions has deep cultural roots in both Eastern and Western philosophy, certainly made famous in Plato's Socratic dialogues and the Eastern dharmic dialectics of the Mahabharata. So this type of thinking seems to be deep rooted into Man's being.

Regarding criticism of the poem, the only minor point I would raise is that if you want the nature of the parties holding the conversation in your head to be more well defined, I'd spend a few more words in painting them. The "cricket" nature of one of the speakers comes as a bit of a surprise and it would be better for the poem to make this clear rather than to rely on notes. (Even though I am a big believer in notes for poetry, I try to restrict the notes to explaning aspects of the poem that might need deeper familiarity with the material than would be expected of the general reader. For your audience here, most will be familiar with Jiminy Cricket. So only a few words are needed to set the stage.)

A very nice write. Greatly enjoyed.

Best regards,

Rick

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I am not schizophrenic. Yes you are. No I'm not! YES you are!! NO I'M NOT!!!!! Well, maybe just a little. lol great write.

[Brianna Brie]

When the arguments start between my conscience and me, I sometimes worry that there is a split personality. It is almost like a whole other character "Jimmeny Cricket". Interesting write and enjoyable read!

[R J Askew]

This poem reassures me as it confirms that I am not the only one who lives in a busy head where the focus on abstract dramas of the self is perfectly normal. Many people do not understand people who think this way, finding them removed from reality. But it is the stuff of art. I reckon poems like this are like star dust...one day, given mad, obesssive belief, something great might emerge from the inner self. And I read the poem before your notes about it and I think it cld apply to all sorts of situations at any time of life. So it works beyond your own context.

[crow]

good poem yea chem class sucks! but thats ok i talk to myself to.

[O!]

Isnt it hard to shut out the voices when we so much want to and then end up having conversations u actually never thought could happen!

Very well done.

Thank you for joining the contest.

x,
O!

[Blue Sky]

Shut up cricket, or [else...dung it you]

remarkable to keep reader right along with thoughts
trickling with conscience, very excellently intercepting!

[Kiara]

impressive : )
for some reason this poem
spoke to me, probably because
it is filled with relativity
of my own experiences
overall a great write....
-arabella

[Samantha McGee]

It's almost like you want to say something here.
And this poem let's out this type of energy... i cant put words to it but it make me feel good.

nice work

[Kitty]

A very well written poem. You express feelings I think many can relate to. The idea of arguing with your conscience is one I like (something I do on a daily basis too).

Great job!

Josie

[[untitled]]

ok..this is something i relate with like hell....

i too have opted for science... and even though chemistry is something i can manage..my added burden physics is something that'll drive to me suicide...

i could have easily taken arts or maybe commerce..for i so so know that i m not made for a 9to5 engg. job...
damn..its irritating..and whats more irritating is that i still have the option to change my choice... but i dunno why something wants me to continue with SCIENCE..!!

and your poem is seriously so striking...its like we decide something..take it up with enthusiasm...and then go on tormenting our soul for choosing what we find unbearable...

the end really is superb...

Like surgery in one's fragile soul,

Drawing details

Of Turning your pace.