The Daily Prophet

A Story by Mr. Misanthrope

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Brace yourselves, dear readers, for another dose of Wizarding chaos…

MINISTRY SECURITY BREACHED?

HAS THE LEAKY CAULDRON SEEN BETTER DAYS?

****

“I’d like a cup of tea, thank you,” one customer said to Tom, the bartender of The Leaky Cauldron.

“Coming right up,” replied Tom. “So, where ya’ headin’? With all of this commotion on the streets, I doubt anyone wants to be anywhere.”

“Oh, nowhere in particular. I just saw your place and thought I’d pop in. A bit bleak in here, isn’t it? Not that many customers.”

Tom passed her a quizzical look, and then said: “Yeah, with all of these recent disappearances and murders, no one bothers coming in. I have a mind of opening it up to Muggles now; that’s how desperate I’ve become.”

“I’m sorry, opening it up to what?” the woman asked.

“What? Ya’ mean, Muggles?”

“Yes. What are Muggles?”

“Have you been livin’ under a giant’s behind or somethin’? Muggles. Ya’ know, non-magical folk?”

“Magical? This all sounds like gibberish to me.”

“Wha…? So you mean to tell me that you’ve never heard of St. Mungo’s, or Diagon Alley? Or even Hogwarts?”

“What are they? Some kind of foreign yoghurt?”

“I’m sorry. It’s closing time. You’ll have to leave.”

“But, I haven’t finished my tea-…”

****

And with that, Tom pushed her out of the door. It hadn’t taken him long to realise that he had in fact been talking to a Muggle.

As we all know, the Leaky Cauldron acts as a gateway between the non-Wizarding world and our world. And with such an important role to uphold, it is only befitting to cover the hub in a hefty amount of Disillusionment Charms. In short, Muggles cannot see or enter the place. Yet, the woman still entered…

Ministry officials examining the scene had this to say:

“We have absolutely no clue as to how this could have occurred. This pub was built in the 1500s and ever since then, not once have we received any complaints regarding the charms layed over it, which are also updated frequently.”

Some would choose to believe that the Leaky Cauldron is just that: leaky. However, investigators from the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes aren’t so sure.

“Charms do not simply turn off on their own,’ said Arnold Peasegood, one of the top Ministry Obliviators. “They would have to be disabled from inside the Ministry itself. All the charms made to cloak our world from Muggles are connected by a very intricate system, whereby in the case of just one charm failing, would trigger a number of alarms so as to alert our staff. Mind you, this is only in the case of a charm failing by itself. If someone had to merely switch one off, no alarms would be set off.”

Tom, who has been bartender of the Leaky Cauldron for as long as anyone can remember, said: “I got a right shock when I realized that Muggles were able to get in. Right after I threw that woman out, a bunch ‘a Muggle tourists came in, and started flashing pictures of the place with their modern thingamajigs. Luckily, I locked the door behind ‘em, called the Ministry, and they sent a bunch ‘a Obliviators over. The other woman did get away, though, but I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean, who’s gonna believe one raving lunatic about a place that ‘ain’t really there’?”

“The Leaky Cauldron has certainly seen better days with regards to popularity,” said another Ministry investigator. “And this new stunt will only forward its demise. But one thing is certain. These charms did not switch themselves off, which would imply that someone is gaining access through a member of the Ministry. Interrogation sequences are underway as we speak.”

This assumption sent a shiver down my spine, so I asked who the perpetrator could have been, and what motive they could possibly have had for switching off just one cloaking device when they would have had the opportunity of breaching all the barriers and rendering our world visible.

“Well, as to who it could have been, we have no clue. It might possibly be these white-robed wizards who are appearing in all sorts of places. They are certainly a likely candidate, especially with the hostage attempt they recently made on the WWR. And as to their motive…well, the motive is the same for everyone. Chaos. You’re right to say that they could have switched off all the charms, but I think they were just toying with us, showing us that they have eyes and ears everywhere. Just the fact that they managed to infiltrate the Ministry is chilling in itself. However, security in the Ministry is now being doubled at all posts.”

Is the Ministry losing its touch? Is the one thing that protects us in need of protection itself? Could this be the end of our world as we know it? One thing is certain, dear readers. War is imminent.