Saturn

i was trying write a song but i wrote a poem instead

 

Saturn

 

Peering inside the telescope

A hidden treasure in space

A planet next to the moon

Without a smile on his face

 

Saturn with a hidden note inside

Taking a detour across

The gloomy skies

Apollo 13 has nothing on me

Showing off his jewelry

To the universe he sings

 

A lane around the top

With a ring on his finger

Grinning with gray holes

in the middle

Mystery aligns with the stars above

Wondering if this planet has people like us

 

Author's Note

holla at your boy

Reviews

[chord0]

great poem, very musical, talks about technology, rockets, sci-fi, aliens, etc.
well structured.
good job
chord0

[East of Eden]

saturn. what a coooooooool guy! i love the depth of intrigue and the personality in this poem!

[Tina]

Interesting one! I often stare at the sky at night and wonder what goes on the the stars and the planets! And Saturn is particularly beautiful!

I really like this poem because Saturn happens to be my favorite planet. Overall, it's pretty neat.

[Vee]

I love this poem it is exotic in its mysterious way!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I really like this poem.. it is mysterious and i love the stars and planets.. very well written.

Chloe
xoxo

[yinseriv]

I liked this poem. Astronomy like poetry looks for hidden beauty.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

i freakin loved it...are you an amateur astronomer too?

[Danielle Asher]

i was always facinated by planets and the solar system. i really liked the imagery you paint for your readers. i think you can still turn it into a song if you wanted to.

peace,
d

[Moonlit-Blues]

Beautiful imagery, the conclusion - a familiar feeling, often we wonder 'what's out there', but you've summed up Saturn beautifully. Love the wording, particularly 'mystery aligns with the stars above'.