Food Poisoning

Nothing makes a girl more queasy than bad noodles and a good old fashioned jerk. A short story based on some overheard dialogue. Enjoy.

It had been a long day to begin with. It didn’t help that I was starting to come down with something. Probably the flu, I thought as I made my way into my first class of the semester: Ethics.

I took my seat a few rows back from the lectern and began the hunt for a pen and notebook when I felt someone looking at me. I looked over, then up. Looming over me was a cocky looking man that seemed almost amused at the world and everything in it. His hair was a dark burgundy and his clothes were artfully disheveled. He didn’t look like he belonged in college, let alone my Ethics class.

“Is this seat available?” He asked, his baritone drier than I would have guessed.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah of course.” I politely straightened back up and edged over to the other side of my seat, giving myself some extra space to move around without bumping into him. 

I resumed looking for my pen in the wasteland I called a backpack when I felt his leg brush into mine. My leg involuntarily jolted away and I let my hair fall down in a sheet between us, I wasn’t in the mood to find out if it had been intentional or not. I continued to my rummaging and finally found a pen right about the time the professor made his way out to the front of the class. 

I felt my stomach squirm for the third time in ten minutes and suppressed a groan. Getting sick on the first day of class would not be a good way to start the semester. As the professor started to give out his basic information I reached for my pen only to find it missing from the spot where I had just put it down. I glanced around frantically, trying to listen to the drone of the professors voice when I caught a glimpse of the man who had sat next to me twirling a pen between his fingers. My pen.

I scowled at him and held my hand out, motioning for him to give me the pen. He flashed me a smile that sent my spine crawling and shook his head. I glared at him in disbelief.

“Give me my pen!” I hissed in the softest voice possible.

He grinned wider and leaned closer to me as I leaned away. “Only if you give me your number.” I could feel my stomach flip as I looked away and focused on not gagging. If I let myself gag I’d end up in the bathroom for sure.

I closed my eyes and decided to focus on the professors voice, my head spinning and my stomach becoming an ever more violent storm inside me. 

“Oh come on, don’t be like that.” He prodded at my cheek with my pen, his fingers dangerously close to touching me. It took all of my willpower not to hit him. “How about you give me your number over coffee instead.”

“How about no,” I growled at him, my stomach performing another exciting acrobatic move. “Please just leave me alone.”

I could tell I wasn’t going to make it through the rest of the class. I needed to leave now or it wouldn’t be pretty. I rushed to put my notebook in my backpack, trying not to jostle my stomach as I did so. I caught sight of him twirling my pen again and cursed inwardly. He can keep it, I thought, I don’t want it back anyways. 

I stood and began to make my way past him when he blocked my way with a too long leg. “Where ya goin’? I thought we were getting to know each other.”

The contents of my stomach were slowly, but with determination, crawling up my esophagus. I knew I didn’t have much time before they made it out. “Move!” I growled between clenched teeth, attracting the attention of a few students sitting nearby. Great, an audience. 

His shook his head stubbornly, grinning slyly, “Not when we were just getting to know each other so well.”

“Seriously, move!” I pleaded as I felt my stomach start to heave properly. He must have heard something in my voice that convinced him, but it convinced him a half a second too late. Before I knew what was happening I was bent over, head hanging in his lap as a cup of noodles made its way violently back to the surface. I heard him make a loudly disgusted noise, but I couldn’t do anything as my body retched up more half digested food to deposit into his lap.

After what seemed like forever my stomach allowed me to straighten up long enough to realize that the room had gone dead silent. Even the professor had stopped speaking to gawk. My face turned a vibrant red as I snatched my backpack, ran a quick hand over my mouth and headed for the doors as fast as I could without looking back.

Well, I thought with a grim humor, as I made my way to the bathroom for a second round, at least he didn’t get my number.

Author's Note

I'd love some reviews, especially ones with helpful criticism as I'm always looking to improve my writing.

Reviews

[Crimson Bayonet]

This was a very humorous read. I couldn't help but chuckle at the end. Quite unexpected, I must say. I didn't actually believe she would puke on the guy. Who, I have to say, did deserve it for being rather unwanted and was crossing barriers. This was definitely a good read. Wonderful job :)

[Carrie R.]

Thank you so much. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for being my first review!

[Crimson Bayonet]

No problem! Can't wait to read your future writings :)

[Monica M.]

Personally, being in your characters' shoes on a daily basis, I could relate to this story. It's one of the biggest pet peeves of mine when a guy is overly persistent. It's like they forget English or something. I loved your story. It was bittersweet for her to lose it and puke just before she could make her big break out of the classroom. It had to be humiliating, but like she said, at least he didn't get her number! It was funny and relatable. I loved it!

[Carrie R.]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it so much. :D
I was kind of going for a bittersweet ending (my favorite kind) so I'm glad that it worked.