Daphne

About separation.

Alone she stands on that lonely hill,
Watching the horizon take its fill
Of sunny days, leeching light,
Bringing the fall of darkest night.

Happy, I come, in an easy stride
Till I stand smiling by her side;
A hand on her shoulder, I lay,
But soon as I touch, she pushes away.

"Why?" I ask in dumbest tones.
"Because," she says in a rain of stones,
"You don't exist here anymore
You're not even a phantom of my world."

At first I don't understand ­ how can I?
So close I get and I try:
Touch her shoulders and kiss her neck
Her love falters ­ that I must check

"Don't you love me anymore?" I say,
And again she pushes away.
"What's the matter?" My voice fills with sand.
All she says is: "Look at your hand."

I see my hand, my body, and my mind fade
I can see right through!
Soon, only she shall here remain.
My voice dies but still I say: "I love you."

I'm almost vapour,  But I see and hear:

"I do, I do love you, too;
As much as I try that will always be true
That's not what's wrong but this:
You my love have ceased to exist."

Though now I'm gone, I still hear:

"Can't you see?" she says, tears in her voice.
"Can't you see that it hurts to look at you here?
To believe you're still here only to remember you're not?"

I want to reach out through the void of space
And tell her that her love will find another place.
Alone she stands on that lonely hill,
Watching the horizon take its fill
Of sunny days, leeching light,
Bringing the fall of darkest night.

Author's Note

Be merciless but fair.

Reviews

[Archos]

I loved it. If I could point out one thing, (which is highly subjective) it would be the transparency. It seems to me too much of a cliche. Perhaps his incomplete presence could be expressed other way. Except for that it was beautiful :)

[André M. A. Ferreira]

You're right about the cliche. When I think of a better way of showing the fading away, I'll change the poem.

Thanks for the review. I'll be sure to return the favour.