The Rose Queen

This is a childrens story but could be adapted to be a larger, more intricate work.

On a cold winter day, when snowflakes fell like diamonds, a child was born to the king and queen of the forest. They named the beautiful baby girl, Rosemary, for the rosy color in her cheeks and the smooth ivory of her skin. The king and queen were overjoyed by the miracle of their tiny daughter. But their happiness was not to last.

Soon a horrible plague swept over the land and tragedy struck twice at the palace, taking both the king and queen at once. The young child, Rosemary, was all alone in the world.

Though she was legally the queen of the forest, Rosemary was still very young. And so it came to pass that the king’s brother, Thorn, came to rule until Rosemary was old enough to rule herself.

For eleven years, Thorn ruled as king, and the subjects of the kingdom came to realize that he was evil at heart. He persecuted the poor and killed those who could not pay the outrageous taxes.

The year Rosemary turned twelve, she was old enough to rule. Instead her evil uncle Thorn locked her in the dungeon. It became apparent that he would never give up the throne, that Rosemary would never rule in the place of her loving parents. For four years, Thorn kept her in the dungeon, feeding her only stale bread and dirty water.

One day Rosemary escaped from the dungeon and disappeared into the surrounding forest. She ran until she could no more, and when she stopped she hid from the evil king in a hollow tree.

Day after day she lived in the hollow tree, and gradually it became her home. She adorned it with emerald moss and made cups and plates out of acorns and leaves.

As time passed, Rosemary began to stop listening for the sound of hoof beats and began to breath deeply again. She became friends with all the animals of the forest, but the grey sparrow became her special companion. Every morning he flew to her bedside and sang his sparrow song to wake her. He accompanied her wherever she went in the forest and became her constant companion.

One day he was not there when she woke and darkness filled her. The sparrow had become her best friend and without him the morning truly did not come.

As the day wore on it began to rain softly, the sky becoming darker and darker. Her eyes traced the fading sky for any sign of the sparrow, and finally as the last light dripped from the sky, she saw him.

With a cry of gladness, she held out her hand for him to alight on. As he flew closer, she realized that something was amiss.

The beat of his wings was erratic, frantic. He alighted on her arm, chirping excitedly. Suddenly out of the forest burst the evil king, Thorn. He had found her at last. With a swift motion, he strung an arrow in his bow and shot the sparrow through his breast.

Rosemary cried out in sorrow as the sparrow toppled to the forest floor. She knelt beside him as the last beats of his tiny heart faded away. The evil king approached, drawing nearer, but the princess only cried for her lost friend.

Suddenly the air around the dead sparrow began to glow and its aura became so bright, Rosemary had to turn her gaze away. When she looked back, the body of her dear friend was gone. In its place stood a handsome young prince, very much alive, and as Rosemary looked into his eyes, she suddenly knew that it was her dear friend, the sparrow.

Then the evil king, Thorn, and the Sparrow Prince fought, and at sword point the prince killed Thorn, disposing of him as the evil king had done of so many others.

Rosemary and the Sparrow Prince, who had been under a spell until the arrow pierced his breath, returned to the kingdom of Rosemary’s parents where they ruled and they were loved by all. There they spent a long and wonderful life, and lived happily ever after.

Reviews

[Claire Twinn]

It's a sweet tale, with more detail it would be lovely.

[CLCurrie]

I think it's a great outline to a good plot, I would like you take the story to a bigger scale and a little more emotion would be great. But for a outline to a plot...good start.

[marie]

great job with the imagery, could use more emotion, sounds like you didn't put much thought into it, a little forced, the flow could be improved, great plot