Shell

This will be my last post for a couple of months. I will be away from the computer. I thought I would post this one.

All that is left is a shell

Ever since I spent that day in hell

Everything I had is gone

Don't enjoy my favorite song

****

Stress and worry are now my life

Thought about ending it with a knife

But that is no way out

My mind starts to shout

****

So how long can I live like this?

Floating around with out any bliss

Pretending everything is alright

It feels like I'm loosing my lite

****

The darkness starts to gain its ground

Ever so slowly it doesn't make a sound

So which mask should I wear today?

I'm asking you, so what do you say?

Reviews

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

This is really good and you can feel a scense of hoplessness when reading it. I love the line "So which mask should I wear today?" that's often one of my thoughts. But one quick question on the 3rd last line shouldn't the phrase "Every so slowly..." be "Ever so slowly..."

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A powerful write indeed. Can really feel the emotion in this piece and relate totally. Nicely expressed! Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[A.r. Bazian]

hey hey... this is down!
i love it btw!

[Aldora Sparrow]

Wow. The sense of hoplessness and helplessness is clear through every word of this beautiful poem. Some of the rhymes sound forced, but, otherwise, it is deeply powerful and wonderful write overall. Keep up the good work!

[Kristen]

I liked this a lot, nice work.

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

This is quite a sad poem, feeling trapped all around.

[LonelySoul]

sometimes we create our own hell,
when we imprison ourselves inside our own shell,
and just when we think we'll never get it right,
a new idea and then we see the light,
let it build,let it grow,
let it shine, let it glow,
then one day before you know,
wings begin to form and dry,
you begin to learn to try,
then one day you'll know how to fly,
as free as a bird in the sky,
because you had become a butterfly

[lamia]

i like it especially the part where you say " so which mask should i wear today ?"

[Tina Kline]

Excellent write on tragic, dark, deeply depressive emotions. It can feel like your trapped in hell with no way out when caught up in this turmoil. It is hell.

[Gandré]

The darkness... what is it? I speak it out. Angst, anxiety.. throw the ego out and darkness is gone. I know, very difficult.

[Bennett Logan]

This is very dark and introspective, and it sounds like you know who you are. That being the case, I can't think of any reason to wear a mask. Have a good one, sir, and keep writing!