Incarceration

This is just a ruff draft so it is pretty raw. Hope you like it :)

I lost myself when in that place

Loosing all of my personal space

The sharks in the water start getting near

Hide your emotions and show no fear

****

This is what you need to do to survive

The only way to stay alive

Is show no fear and don't be week

Or you might end up as their b***h for a week

****

I feel like something was ripped away

It's getting worse every day

How do I make these flashbacks stop

I look like I'm here but really I'm not

****

A shell of a man that I used to be 

Are you looking for me?  Can you really see

The pain hidden just behind my eyes

Or can you not see through my disguise

****

I wear so many masks and I am loosing myself

The stress has already started to affect my health

So many panic attacks though out the day

I'm sorry I've run out of things to say

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I liked this piece a lot, specially the closure..I guess you can still work with the structure of it.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wow, sounds like you are describing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder perfectly. Although, I see by the title perhaps it is a lack of freedom that is your point. I think you mean to us the word 'through' instead of 'though' in the last stanza. A powerful, succinct write indeed. Compelling and heartfelt. Very moving - I can relate very well to feelings such as that which you penned so well.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Light
Siddartha

[LonelySoul]

personal freedom is a heavy price to pay for moments of weakness

[Liva Mary]

I love this writing!

[Frantzuu]

very interesting write, well done :D

[Aldora Sparrow]

Very powerful for a "ruff" (rough) draft. I think my only suggestion is to use the "Distancing yourself" technique. Set it aside and try not to think of it. In maybe a month, go back and reread it and you'll find some things you missed in the passion of this creative creation. Good job and keep up the good work!

[SamBug]

I liked this.

[Bennett Logan]

I really like how you illustrate the dehumanizing conditions of being incarcerated. When we lose all emotion and start acting in total self-preservation, we're essentially no more than animals. Good stuff, man.

[Tina Kline]

The trauma and horrors of being locked up in prison. I think you did a really good job on this.

[Joy Lynn B.]

Loving this piece!