Breaking

Breaking

My soul feels like it has broken

All my words are left unspoken

There is a rift growing inside of me

I can not stop it, can't you see

****

I am doing everything I can

Would it help if I had a plan?

Maybe then I could close this rift

That would be such a great gift

****

All I'm left with is a hole

What is happening to my soul?

The rift grows deeper every day

No longer feel like I want to play

****

I can no longer see the light

Darkness, sorrow and the will to fight

Anger starts brewing from the deep

Just another reason why I can't sleep

Author's Note

Another dark rhyme from the mind of a ............?

Reviews

[Jade (insanity)]

It is dark. But I think this was one of my favorites. I like how you capture the sadness or anger you feel and put it in the form of a poem. I liked how you made it rhyme, but I can't help but agree with classylady123 on the forced rhyme part. But all the same, it was a great poem :D
Great job :D,
Jade

[LonelySoul]

writing like this takes some guts,
every time I try to get in my groove,
I just end up stuck in a rut...

[Frantzuu]

great piece, great rhymes, very dark and misterious, awesome poem.

[Frantzuu]

very beautiful, great metaphors awesome piece :D

[A.Lee]

This is really good. You can really feel those emotions breaking through your words. I loved the last stanza, especially the last two lines. Very very well written.

[Shelby Baker]

Row three just seems not to connect with all of the other rows but that just might be mean. Sometimes I'm like that but i think all of this is nicely written and i can totally connect to it [sorta]

So great job and nice flow on the writing.

[EmpressPoetess]

deeply emotional, vivid expressions od depression's dark grip. well spoken!

[MissWordSmith]

very nice. i especially loved the last stanza...
fav lines:

I can no longer see the light
Darkness, sorrow and the will to fight


they were so strong in their simplicity. a very nice write. the flow was a little unusual, but it worked pretty well. keep it up! :)

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

I really like this poem however I think in the last line "I can't sleep" is a bit short, it might sound better if it were "I cannot sleep". It's just a sugestion though. But eather way it's a good wirte.

[Khaimera]

good poem, sounds like a vent which can be good for the soul.
Now that it's out you can move on. :)