The Day I lost my best friend

This is a work in progress, I got a little to emotional to write anymore. Would like to know what you think of it so far. This happened 10 years ago now and I still am having a hard time dealing

The day I lost my best friend

After a four day binge

We both started to cringe

Sleep is what we needed most

Little did I know he was almost a ghost

****

I left his house so I could get some sleep

Unknown to me his Reaper came to reap

My friend stopped breathing in his slumber

I had no idea death had his number

****

So when I called him the next day 

His mother said I would pay

I was the one that killed her son

She said to me, what have I done

****

We got into drugs at the same time

So why am I being accused of this crime

Never had to force him to get high

Together him and I just liked to fly

****

I miss you everyday Jay

Author's Note

I have added a few new lines let me know what you think:)

Reviews

[Chris Lotus]

Ah, very good! This one actually has a bit of alarm and stun to it from the added lines. I can still see and feel similar elements as the last version, but this one presents a darker and different scenario, which actually puts an edge on the tone. Overall what im saying is that in this version, we actually gain more knowledge on how and why you feel this way. With or without the added lines its still a great piece, but of course if I had to pick one over the other it would be the newer version. This one will provide the reader with your thoughts and the cause.

[Vito XYZ]

It's a good piece but I think
"His mother said I would pay
THAT I was the one the killed her son"
What have I done" might be better since you don't quote "I was the one that killed her son" because of that you had to put "She said to me," referring to the line above and it can read, She said to me, "what have I done" as in actually saying "What have you done", and as a result you thinking "what have I done" apart from that I liked it a lot and could feel what ever the people underneath said, it's the same feelings for all of us when we view this piece of work, almost an art to be able to do that ( :

[Bennett Logan]

Thank you for sharing such a personal tale of tragedy. As a previous reiewer remarked, try not to dwell on such a thing for too long. It does feel good to let it all out though, doesn't it? Keep up the good work.

[Becca*Type2012]

Such a sad poem. I'm sorry your friend's mother accussed you of the crime, but it's a nice poem none the less. I espically like the rhyme skeme. :-)

[Tate Morgan]

Drugs never a good idea they always lead to excess

[Jinx's Heart]

A truly sad and heartfelt story. We all make mistakes, but you cannot be blamed for someone else's choices. You exhibit the pain of having lost someone very important to you very well. Though I have not lost a friend like you have, the feeling of blame for a trauma that happened in my own life surfaces still. Well written.

[LonelySoul]

a bit on the darker side of poetry,but I'm feeling the emotions here,
as I've told you before it is good to let these things out ,
but please try not to dwell on them or these lil' demons will turn into nightmarish lil monsters only to consume you...LonelySoul

[A.Lee]

Wow, I can feel the sting and pain through your words. Its very well written... Unfortunately, its sad that you have to write it....

[lamia]

i can feel your loss in these words , the greef and sadness , it's the hardest thing losing a friend , so tragic

[Frantzuu]

Stunning write, greatly expressed.