The Paul Grey Story

I have to tell you about the Paul Grey story. Paul is like the modern day Don Quixote but a lot more technologically advanced with his mobile phone in one hand and the good bible in the other. Paul’s quest is to set out to save mankind from all evil. He uses his bible to guide him through the lonely hours of the day and only listens to the voice of God who he claims speaks to him in his head. He thinks God tells him to do all sorts of things, like text message people and stuff, I never heard God telling people this kind of stuff but he certainly does according to Paul Grey.

He was a charismatic guy this Paul Grey fella, nobody wanted to hang around him because he was always trying to convert people to Christians and preach about the knights templar and tell you about how nasty and oppressive these Muslims are. Anyway, my cousin Timothy told me about a time when they pulled up at one of Paul’s friend’s houses. Paul wanted to quickly tell his friend Stewart about the British Solidarity Movement and warn him off of those fundamental Mulsim taxi drivers who are also (he believed) Al Qaeda related terrorists responsible for the 9/11 attacks on the world trade centre, yes, he was convinced they were all working for Bin Laden.

Anyway, as Paul pulled up around this guy’s street he saw his friends window open to let the cat in. “Yes, he’s in!” Paul said grinning, however, as he said this the window shut again rather quickly. He was so excited because every time he knocked for this guy, he was usually out. As he got to the doorstep, he could hear the television, he smiled again this time and knocked with excitement. However, just as he knocked, the sound of the TV immediately stopped, it was as if the TV had actually been switched off. Paul knocked a few more times and shouted his name, “Stewart? It’s Paul, hurry up will you buddy”. Thinking his friend was busy making his way to the door Paul waited some more. Seconds past, no answer... minutes past and still no answer.

“Well, Stewart, it seems that you are not going to answer?? I hope you are not worshipping another God... You know what the bible says about that!” Paul pulls out a pocket bible and reads a quote out loud “Whoever sacrifices to any god, except the Lord alone, shall be doomed. Exodus 22:19 Stewart, I hope you read that one! Let the Lord be with you friend, I hope you find your strength in the good book!”

 Paul went back to his car on that note quite annoyed. He told Timothy that he was disappointed that his friend had not answered the door to him, and that he knew he was in, not only because he saw the guy letting the cat in the window, but because the TV, he explained, before it was switched off, was in fact “blaring”. What Paul couldn’t understand was why his friend Stewart did not answer the door to him? Had he lost his faith in God, had he fallen victim to another deity? Paul was frustrated and decided he would have to visit another one of his friends, this time Billy.

He wanted to tell Billy more about the Knights Templers and about Muslims. Timothy waited in the car whilst Paul went to knock for his good old friend to see if he was in. He walked up to the door, knocked and waited. Seconds later this guys wife answered the door exclaiming that Billy wasn’t in and that he’d joined the army. Paul Grey accepted this but asked if he could use the toilet which was upstairs. Of course, his friend’s wife agreed and Paul went into the house. However, as he was walking upstairs, his friend’s bedroom door was slightly open and he just caught a glimpse of someone’s leg being craftily moved underneath the bed as if they were hiding. Obviously it was his good old friend Billy, who had not joined the army at all, but hadn’t had time to hide before Paul had unexpectedly gathered inside the house to use the toilet.

 He got back in the car told Timothy about this, whilst Timothy burst out laughing, Paul looked hopelessly offended and unable to understand why all of his friends were suddenly hiding from him? Maybe, everyone was just fed up of him going around their house and preaching about the knights templar, Christianity and Al Qaeda related terrorists which he believed wanted him dead. The funny thing is, the penny did not drop for Paul Grey at that moment. Instead, he carried on with his knights templar quest and went travelling to Israel in search of King Solomon’s tomb. He was in search for the Holy Grail and went all around the world explaining to people how he actually WAS one of the knights templar’s and is here in the name of his royal hyenas the queen to protect and fight off evil force. Paul Grey is alive and well with us today, he is currently in the Isle Of White hiding out from Al Quaeda, I hope they don't read this story, sorry Paul.

 

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Some friend you are, giving up his location. If he does read this, I'm sure you're doomed. He may have left a map to your house in his abode on the isle. At least that's what I would have done! On the other hand.... if I were a bible thumper, perhaps I really would have just prayed for your soul. Ach well. Bloody good thing I haven't trusted you with any life-threatening secrets!!!
I do love how he transformed into one of the knights..... priceless!!
Come to think of it..... this makes me wonder how Christianity ever survived. Still, to this day, preachers turn me off to what they try to turn me on to, just by technique alone. Their just lucky they got Jesus on their side, I guess. Hmm, maybe I should get him on my side... and KEEP IT TO MYSELF! OH.. and no offense if this story is really about you.