My mother,My everyday sunshine

This is a drafted chapter,It is still rough,not edited and not finished.This chapter i dedicate it to my mothe.The first special person in my life.You will enjoy this one.feast your eyes.

Without having someone so special in your life its like having life without a meaning.Is like eating sandwich with beans while you know that they don't go well together.

Cherish,like and love are the three words/feelings that you will always have as long as you have a mother.My mother,My special strength,My rock almost my everything.With my mother I feel mixed-up feeling I get all happy emotion.Because i know better I would tell you that all the life and happines I have i get it from my mother[Mary Thupae].I am proud to be calling her my mother.

I would say apart from God's strenth my mother also give me strengh and dont ever say its impossible because it is very possible.Mother the creator of life,love and happines that is in my heart.One special lady that no one will replace in my heart as i will always love her till the end of my life.Joy is my every day food as i wake up to say hellow to my mother.

They say appreciate the small things you have in life but then again i wont have to because I have much bigger things in life which is my mother[Mary Thupae]'s love.Day and night i would think of How am i gonna thank her for the most she did for me.

Today education is what I have all because of my mother's efforts.Words will never be enough to thank her even if i wrote her a bible.When I look in the mirror I see something so wonderful and amazing which is me,My image does not describe me what describe me is what my mother gave me.Praises is what I wish to have for all the good work my mother did but again Praises wouldn't be enough even if they were a bible size.

Every morning,Everyday,Everynight she would yell at me telling me what to do just because she want me to have a great life,But quite frankling I used to Listen to her before i became a teenager and Iam starting to listen to her because she made me mature and I can say that she did a job well done on raising me so far.

You will never sleep in cold unless you are homeless because a mother's love will always keep you warm,will be your umbrella to protect you from rains and will be your thick wall to protect you from heavy winds.My point is when you have a mother's to love you have almost everything you need and want.Dont waste any opportunity you have with your mother.

To Mary Thupae I say today Iam grown,bright,educated and proud all because of you without your guidence none of these would be possible.You are my everyday sunshine.You alway stood by my side through my struggles and difficulties.You made me survive the world up to so far.I say to you Mary Thupae My mother thank you for a wonderful Life.

Author's Note

unfinished chapter,tell me what you think so far

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

I want to start off by saying that this is an extremely touching tribute to your mother. I am 100.5% sure that she would give you a gigantic hug and kiss for writing this for her, and she is blessed to have given birth to a wonderful human being such as yourself.

But I'm going to be honest here, this first chapter is plagued with quite a few problems; from typos to lack of certain grammatical devices, and unnecessary capital letters. Let's start at the beginning(I'm not writing this to bring you down, and don't worry, I'm not going to be harsh about anything, only honest).

"Without having someone so special in your life its like having life without a meaning.Is like eating sandwich with beans while you know that they don't go well together."

This paragraph is somewhat clumsy. For the first sentence, it needs to be reworded so that it's more to the point, and it has a typo(this may really sound nitpicky, sorry about that); at the part "so special in your life ITS(should be "is") like having life without meaning". For the second sentence, first off, I assume that you meant to start the sentence with "It's", not "Is", and make sure to double space at the beginning of every sentence. The second sentence should really read, "It's like eating a sandwich with beans in it when you know that they don't go well together".

I also have a few pointers to give for the rest of the chapter; make sure you single space after using a comma or a semicolon, don't capitalize the first letter of a word that comes immediately after a comma, avoid sentence fragments and run-on sentences, and unless you're doing this with a purpose, avoid using slang like "gonna" to narrate the story. I apologize if I may come across as being harsh at all, because I'm really not meaning to come across like that.

I'm going to reiterate the fact that I truly do think this is a very touching tribute to your mother, and if writing flaws are not of your concern for this particular tribute, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What matters in the end is that this story is perfect to YOU, and only you can decide if it is or not. I hope I was able to be of any help. The last thing I have to say is keep writing, and you will find yourself getting better and better at it as time goes on(so long as you heed any helpful advice that comes your way). I really enjoyed reading your lovely tribute to your mother, and good luck with writing! :)

[Thatoetsile Simons Thupae]

Thanks for the facts that you stated out.This really come helpful.Much appreciated.

[DoormanDan]

You're welcome, I'm glad I was able to be of help :)

[Sesame]

Hello DoormanDan,

My compliments for your review.

Regards,

read moreHello DoormanDan,

My compliments for your review.

Regards,

Sesame

[Sesame]

Hello Thatoetsile,

I have great respect for the message that you are trying to convey here. But I must say that the message was soon quite clear to me, and honestly the last few paragraphs felt like more of the same. I was wondering, whether a poem might be an interesting form to get this down? I have read DoormanDan's review and I cannot agree more on the fact that this writing needs some work, especially on the details. In my opinion, whether or not you care for correct use of grammar and verbs, the way it is now stands in the way of the beatiful message you want to send. The sloppy writing distracts me a lot. I just wanted to mention this so you have another's view on your writing/story, but I do not see the need to repeat DoormanDan's feedback.

Good luck, keep writing!

Regards,

Sesame

[Thatoetsile Simons Thupae]

Hi Sesame.i really appreciate that you had time to read my work.

Thank you for such great feedback.