11:11

I wrote this when I was in a bad mood, I'm sorry

Everyone has that time in life when they think that they've hit rock bottom. Not rock bottom as in the women's fashion boutique or the online bed store, but rock bottom as in being in a bad place. I'm not talking about being in rock bottom as being in a place where all you want to do is curl up in your pyjamas all day, shutting yourself off from the world, whilst listening to depressing music and thinking 'Yeah, Jason Walker, I thought I could fly as well, so why the f**k did I drown?' or A burning desire to go out and get absolutely shitfaced and making that you know you'll regret. I'm talking about rock bottom where you wake up in the middle of the night in tears or screaming because of (a) being haunted by things from the past or (b) suicidal thoughts.  

I wish I could actually put into words how I feel right now, because this is actually taking such  an effort for anything good to come out onto the page. I'd say I'm feeling more of the 'pyjama' bad place rather than rock  bottom, therefore I'm not writing this because I've hit rock bottom right now, because, rock bottom was hit a few years ago. That's what hurts the most; no matter how bad things get now, no matter what happens, you can never stand tall and say 'this is the worst moment of my life'. Why? Because you know that nothing can possibly compare to the amount of pain that has been previously felt. Oh sweet Jesus, I can't wait to get away from this goddamn town.

Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts. It'll all be okay in the end. Que sera, sera. Anyway, its 11:11, make a wish. happiness.