7th SeptemberA Chapter by thalia Lola Violet visites Rael's grave and memories of him carry her back the past. in a world full of people, full of love, pain, sadness, horror, anxiety, cheerfulness and even hate, I was alone feeling the emptiest I’d ever felt. It was 10:22 in the morning of September 7th. The location was the most dreadful yet the warmest place I could ever be. The only sounds that could be heard there were from the trembling of the tress, yet I was going crazy because of how loud my own sorrow, regret, and thoughts were. That place could be considered my wedding isle, my house of emotions, and my daily dosage of a strange kind of happiness that kept me going. I was wearing a black ankle length dress and a light blue ribbon in my hair. In my hand, I had 21 white lily flowers. I was singing yet no one could hear my songs. I was dancing yet I noticed my limbs weren’t wandering around. I was laughing yet the corners of my mouth were being so lazy that they couldn’t walk up not even an inch. I was clapping, but instead of clap noises, people could here the sound of my tears running down my cheeks. My actions and my intentions were crystal clear, but for some reason, no one seemed to recognize them. They thought I was crazy. Is this really how cold the world has turned? Yes, that’s true. Without his warm heart, nothing was left to heat up people’s hearts. Those hearts that were freezing under layers and layers of arrogance, pride, and egotism. That day, I was sitting all alone wondering what sin I’d done to deserve losing what I would call the “joy of my life”. That day marked the 210th day after Rael’s passing. 7th September was his 21st birthday, yet I was alone at his resting place celebrating the day alone. I was staring at the beautiful marble stones that were placed on both ends of his body to show his height. On the head stone, the words مرا به گور سپاری مگو وداع وداع” که گور پرده جمعیت جنان باشد" Were carved. That was a poem by Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi which is translated to “when you leave me in the grave don't say goodbye remember a grave is only a curtain for the paradise behind” How I wish I could visit that paradise. I was ready to give up my life just to see his eyes one more time. Rael Miller was my crush of 10 years. I call it crush, but he was more than that. He was the air that allowed my to breath. His existence was the blood that would inspire my heart to beat. His eyes were the ocean that I would swim in every time I secretly stared at them. His voice was the sound track of my life. My heartbeats would follow the rhythm of his body movement every time he came close to me. Rael staring at me for a millisecond would send chills down my spine. I was scared of him. I was scared of how cold he was. I was scared because he had full control over my whole existence even though he only knew my name. My emotions were like cards in his hands. He would play with them as how his heart desired. Rael was the angel that I was never able to lay my hand on. He was the purest yet the most dangerous man in my world. How I first saw him and how I first fell for him were the fuels of the fire that prevented my heart from freezing and shattering. Every moment of his existence within my life was the utopia that I was still living in away from dystopia that was my real life. © 2018 thaliaAuthor's Note
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thaliasulaimanyah, IraqAboutI'm a 19 year old college student. I love writing and i hope through this website, i can improve my writing and hopefully share some of my work with everyone. more..Writing
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