Chapter 10

What is left for her to do? Coby left her, Arlen betrayed her, and Cameron dumped her. Will she really do it?

Now all that was left for me to do was to deliver my messages. To deliver my last bits of feelings.
“I wasn’t joking when I said that you won’t see me when you’re back. I’m sorry. I love you with passion, but I can’t go on. I want you to be happy, get a girl, and remember me in my best condition”
“I will visit you again, but not in that room. Thank you for everything. I promise I won’t forget our last seconds together. Don’t regret anything”
“You taught me a lesson that only time could. You reminded me of myself and my life. Always too scared to go forward and take risks for who I cared”
And at the end of every message there was my pure heart telling them that I didn’t like this idea but there was nothing better.
“This wasn’t bravery. Goodbye for now. Don’t forget to visit me at my new home. some will be accepted and some have to go like how they came”
The messages were so clear in to whom they belonged.
Then I wrote the last message. The most heart braking one. The one that made me feel the smallest and most pathetic I’ve ever felt.
“Dear mom and dad,
Thanks for taking care of for 19 years. Thanks for being the greatest people in this s****y world. Sorry for never being the perfect daughter that you claimed I will be. You two were and are the only ones that kept me on going forward. I love you both so much. Take care of yourselves and always remember to live life to its best because your daughter didn’t get to do that. Also leave Mr. Parker alone. He made me realize all the sad truth. ”
I sent everything.
I went to the rooftop. Everything was grey. The rooftop was empty. No one was there.
I cried while shivering. I don’t know if it was because of the cold or it was because i was scared. I looked down then at the sky. I had my phone with me. I got a message.
“Why are you doing this to me? Can’t u just wait for me? I love you to an extent that it hurts and i also want to let go. Believe me if u leave i will follow you to the deepest part of hell”
Then I got a phone call. I didn’t want to pick it up, but I wanted to hear his voice as last sound before i go to sleep forever. I wanted his voice to echo throughout my mind for the longest time. Finally i picked up.
“Hello! Thalia, listen to me. Thalia,are you there?”
“Yeah...” i was weeping but I didn’t want him to know so i was whispering.
“Please, I love you. Don’t do anything. I swear i will die” his voice was deep as always. He started to chock on his own words.
“Coby....I’m so tired” now I stopped trying to hide the fact the i was crying.
I just sat on the floor and cried out loud. He was crying too.
“I’m begging you, Thal. I’m going crazy here. I can’t do anything. Should i just kill myself so that i can rest forever. I swear if i knew i would find you there as well i would have done it long ago”
His words broke my heart. They reminded me of myself when i was desperate for Coby’s love and attention.
“Do you remember the day we both were chosen to clean school backyard ? Then, i did most of the work so that you wouldn’t have to do anything, so that you would think i was cool, so that you would think of me even for 1 second. I loved you like crazy”
“I do remember. I was too dumb then to notice you. Now I’m saner than ever. I love you. Please go back to sleep and wake up maybe you will see a beautiful surprise”
“Coby”
“Yes. What? Thalia?”
“Thanks for being born”
“No Thalia. Hey. Thal! Thaliaa”
I hung up on him. I looked down again then my memories with Coby flashed before my eyes. I missed him, his voice, his eyes, his touch, his lips. So I sat on the floor again. The sun was starting to shine, but it was still chilly.
I laid down and hugged my knees close to the rest of my body. I was too tired to get up and jump. I was ready to break my own word and go back to sleep in my bed if there was only one person who could love me with all his heart. Someone to tell me that everything will be fine and that life is always complicated. There was no one. I waited and waited.
“Thalia, what are you doing here? Get up let’s go back to your room” his voice was still as cold as when i talked with him an hour ago.
“Leave me alone” i got up and climbed the parapet wall. I wanted to do it and end everything. I didn’t want anything or anyone to ruin my plans.
I felt someone grab my feet. He tried to pull me backwards, but i was more in control since i was standing 2 meters taller than him. Since he knew he couldn’t do anything, he hugged my legs from behind and started talking.
“I know you want to leave this hell and go to paradise. But you haven’t met the angel that would make your life perfect. I’m sorry. Don’t leave. I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to get away from you and leave you all alone to Arlen. He loves you so much”
I laughed out loud. How funny it was. Arlen? He was a heartless coward.
“Let go of my feet and climb up if you dare”

Author's Note

A few songs inspired me to write this chapter this way: Paradise by ColdPlay
Hey Brother by Avicci
Stupid Love by Jason Derulo.
Btw the real life Coby graduated yesterday. I’m so proud of him.