Ash Heart

Rising up to meet me

I gallop down to him

My feet slapping the cold wet grass

I love him to the end;

He suddenly stops and I look puzzled

He starts to turn around

I start to slow my pace

He turns around and walks away

My lover turned me away...

I guess i was just the next girl

In his line of hoes

So i turn around and cry my way home

Nobody understand the feeling in my heart

For my lover left with it and

It started to fall apart

Little wisps of it flying through the air

I dont even try and catch them

For when they hit the ground they become ash

So i just turn away

And wait for my next part...

 

Reviews

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

excellent write

[Nathan Durham]

That was an amazing treat for the brain! I love the presence of the emotions that many people can relate to. I also enjoyed the way the words flowed as I read this out loud. This was of superb quality and I plan to read more of your works.

[Brianna Brie]

I guess i was just the next girl
In his line of hoes
So i turn around and cry my way home

My thoughts on the word "hoes" brought a smirk. It seemed too casual and didn't do the poem justice. Then I read the next line and to my surprise it works. Not just works, but works well. The poem went from carefree and light to deep and heart wrenching. Meanwhile, the turning point is at that key word "hoes". Just goes to show whether it be a relationship or a poem, don't form an opinion until the end. I think you did an awesome job writing this!