SHE NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE

someone too far from my reach

Now until my last moment, my last thought, my last breath I will think of you
I will childishly depend on those days, weeks and months to blanket that sharp sting I feel when you enter my imagination.
I got it bad for you and that ain't good. Why can't I get rid of you? This aching deep inside of me I have felt for no other. Am i doomed forever to yearn for someone who will never understand my tortured soul?
This fever that quickens my pulse will not last forever. My longing to kiss you and breathe you and taste the dizzying scent of your skin will eventually fade.
Another hurricane will roar up and spin me around and around and around. And when we are alone and my thoughts drift to you, hopefully she will not ask me what am I thinking...
Hopefully, I will not have to tell a lie to spare her feelings. Hopefully, I will not tell her: about your smile that freed me from my darkest place, your lips i so fantasize to kiss, your eyes that made me believe in miracles, your face that will haunt me every second of my life...

So help me, every time I wish I never met you, it's a prayer I hope God never answers...

Author's Note

Listen to Bonnie Raitt " I Can't Make You Love Me"
Love is so much more when it's returned in kind

Reviews

[elle]

we've all been here.
possibly a soulmate, but doesnt mean you two have to or will be together.
love is a losing game - Amy Winehouse said it best.

[Dave]

KC -
You truly scare me with this! I know so well of what you write. She was a brief moment in my life, but there isn't a day or night I don't think of her. I could go on and on, but I best not.

Take care - Dave

[Great Aunt Astri]

Sometimes a secret love can be quite sustaining, but as you say, it makes your heart ache. You express the anguish very well. I hope he cherishes the memory until the next hurricane comes by and sweeps the memory away. As you say, 'love is so much more when it is returned in kind'.

[Connie]

What an ache indeed to want someone so much that with every breathe you are consumed by them. Maybe its the facade you love, the illusion of what you believe her to be. Free yourself.

[Chris Shaw]

A heartbreaking write KC. The depth of your pain is evident. Unrequited love hurts like hell. You have conveyed that anguish, so it really punches your readers. Well done.

Chris

[A.L.]

Why fantasize over the unattainable, when you could live a life full of love with another?
Know your worth, know you deserve better.

[Corset]

That would be a horrible way to live, something I refuse to do, to look with such purity and love at the one you love and he is thinking of a face and lips other than your own, or worse vise versa, that is a heartache waiting to happen. Can't make someone love you, so true, the heart wants what it does. Hard to remember every nuance of someone you loved long ago and try to love the one you're with, I'd rather be alone.

[Hannah]

This is a very aching and beautiful poem. Unrequited love can hurt and drive you crazy, but at the same time it's almost magical. The imagination is a very powerful thing. What ifs are wonderful and terrible. They can make you lay awake at night and imagine the possibilities, and they can make you lose sleep with restless feelings.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

although i have never felt that i wish i had never met her...for many years there was always someone who more or less stood in the way of my other relationships...she was unavailable...and yet...we had such a connection that others i was with felt it...It's still there to this day...although we have learned to accept.
j.