EXCUSE ME PLEASE DON'T POOP IN MY YARD

people publicly pooping in other people's yards

Thomas Tramaglini 42
New Jersey high school superintendent
** For several weeks, on a daily basis, would leave human feces on the football and track fields. He was caught publicly pooping with surveillance cameras**
MOTIVATION : Not publicly released at this time

Holly Malone 43
Simsbury, Connecticut
**Accused of defecating in her neighborhood three times before being caught with surveillance cameras**
MOTIVATION: "I've been diagnosed as lactose intolerant, but occasionally I do eat dairy products.Sometimes during my morning walks and jogs, I can't make it back to the bathroom on time."

Andrew Macintosh 63
Australia
Politician/Corporate CEO
**During morning jogs, he would defecate on neighborhood streets and have the audacity to leave used toilet tissue at the scene.He was caught by, you guessed it, surveillance cameras**
(You have to be s******g me.Sorry I had to say it)
MOTIVATION: Not released at this time

Bowel Move Bandit
Identity Unknown
Akron Ohio
**Publicly pooped on 19 parked cars during 2015**

The Mad Pooper
Identity Unknown
Colorado Springs Colorado
**An unidentified woman has been publicly defecating through several neighborhoods during her morning jogs even though portable potties are available to be used on that particular jogging trail **

According to a US study, running can alter something called mucosal permeability.It controls the passing of materials from inside the gastrointestinal tract out to the rest of the body causing the stool to loosen and impact how often you need to defecate. This is because of the hormones in your stomach lining affected by all that bouncing around when your body is pounding the pavement.

I BELIEVE I HAVE A SOLUTION
** Only in America the Human Pooper Scooper. Now you and your dog can take a poop outside together. We just recommend not in your neighbor's yard. To purchase this amazing new product, please make all inquiries to the writer who wrote the story. Checks. Money Orders.Cash.All welcome

Author's Note

These are true events. Google it

Reviews

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Lol I actually remember a couple of these cases... who would have thought it'd be so widespread. You actually may turn a profit. Look to the cameras, they can't seem to! Lmao