IN THE END, DOES THE PAIN GO AWAY?

the decision of your life or what's left of it

When there's not enough light to conquer darkness and too much darkness to be overcome by the light
When only a few voices in your head tell you to fight through the pain and too many voices convince you to end it
When you reach out to family and friends and all you hear are the echoes of your own voice
When desperation turns to prayers that are unanswered
When your own reflection shows someone you do not recognize and who you know will hurt you the most
When everything about you is not who you are now or who you will be in the future, but who you once were and never will be again

The pain. The agony. The despair. The signs were visible for you to see, but you chose to avoid, to ignore, to politely smile and tell me things will eventually get better. I needed you just to listen, but you didn't. Maybe you had no intention to...

In this moment. This final moment. My last decision wasn't a hard choice at all...

Author's Note

In the end, it's only what I leave behind will you understand so little of my pleasure and so much of my pain

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of Letters Home...a book put out by Sylvia Plath's mother....there was such desperation in those letters...either she felt no one was listening...or she was trying to hear her own thoughts, and just couldn't...
in the end...she left of her own accord...and as Sexton put it..."with the phone off the hook"---

[Mari' Emeraude]

Beauty in the words though sad they are. You reach deep into your soul and share your raw emotion with others. Good job Kc.

[Dawne Richards]

This is beautifully written and while I'm no expert on poetry, I'm an avid consumer of poetry. Thank you for sharing your talent - it is enriching.

[LKBillips]

Wow. Pretty intense one here. I feel my heart aching to reach out and console this lost soul. We are all going a mile a minute we barely register what is happening to us as humans. As a social animal we’ve lost our own society and are left to our own despair. Really good write!!

[Tessa Melendez]

I love this piece so much and relate to it so well. I have no other words. Beautiful work. ❤️

[DianneR]

Wow. Such a conflict of feelings: powerful and tragic; inspiring and hopeless; desperate and resigned. All because you weren't heard. Wow.

[Christy the Poetic Hear..]

Woww!! The agony is very self-described, you drive us into the mind of the suicidal person. Well done, friend.

[Onlyme]

This really got to me personally as I can relate to this at present but we have to remember to love ourselves and not to judge ourselves harshly and to accept new day as it comes and regrets get no one anywhere at all,but pulls you further down. your not alone.

[lightsong]

there is Light my friend, everywhere there is Light, maybe weak in some places but always there is, the problem is not within it, but within the eyes, if they want to see it, if they are able and welling to see it, sometimes it takes long time to recover from pain, and normally we are unable to see any good, sometimes all we need is someone to listen without judgment, a true friend to understand and hold our hands, each of us have their roads, some their trails are more painful and difficult than the rest, but when they are, if they are... aware and knowing, they know it's for their progress, in the minds, hearts and spirits.

wishing You all the best my friend, and sending You lots of Love***

[NataliaXael]

After the end is always a new beginning