DEPRESSION IS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR...COME ON IN

being lonely or choosing to be lonely

There's a knock on my door
It's an invited guest
Come on in
Join me in the bedroom

I am a willing participant
I can feel depression invading my body with such aggression,I can feel it below my skin to the bone
I want to be devoid of emotion
Numb to the core
I want to sleep until I can no longer dream
I don't want to move
I don't want to bathe
I don't want the feeling of being clean
I don't want the company of family or friends
I'm not answering the phone
In fact, I have it turned off
I want darkness in and around me
And silence...
Sweet silence

Awake
Stay with the routine
Get up.Eat.Tv.Back to bed
...An odd thing
A ray of sunlight through the curtains
Stop
Don't get curious
Cover up the light
Keep it dark
But...
Just a peek...
Dark turns to light pulling back the curtains
The glare of the sun blinds my eyes
The pupils adjust their view

Daylight
This is the world outside of my window
In bloom and vivid color
People interacting with each other with smiles and handshakes
I look back towards the large sunstreak dividing the bedroom
I realize now that my called upon guest was not depression, but isolation

What I am doing to myself is by choice
There is enough light now to see out of this darkness
It's less than thirty steps to the front door
Just turn the knob and walk outside
So confused...
...Maybe tomorrow
But why not today?
At this moment?
Less than thirty steps
It's a beautiful day...

Author's Note

Just something I wrote dealing with life and other things not too long ago

Reviews

[lightsong]

I read this yesterday but didn't have the chance to leave a review, I've noticed in the pieces I read from You that You write with these important details, and easily You can write the emotions, the reader feels close to You, like he has been there too, Your words remind me with that one time when I was under a huge pain that I couldn't see a ray of Sun because it burned my eyes until my soul, nor I could bear hear the beautiful singing of birds it was like thorn stabbing my senses, what I like about Your pieces that even though You write with and of pain but Your wisdom is great, Your last verse was really amazing, I say... take a little more of time with the willing to take those 30 steps, because You will step them all, one at a time.

[sette]

at least now I know you are ok and that counts.

[Zoya]

A beautiful day indeed. Very true this one. It all depends on our perspective. The pessimists only see the bad in everything while the optimists manage to find some good or the other in the same.
A strong, impactful write!

[Sydney]

I've had my own dance with depression as everyone has. This writing reminds me of how far I've come from my dark corners. Beautifully written.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You write truth my friend. Real, poignant, sad. One step at a time, toward the light. Superb poem.

[Lavi]

Reminds me of the Evans Blue song alone not lonely. I think we all can relate to this at some point in our lives. Good work.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and worthwhile thoughts shared in the poetry.
"Daylight
This is the world outside of my window
In bloom and vivid color
People interacting with each other with smiles and handshakes
I look back towards the large sunstreak dividing the bedroom
I realize now that my called upon guest was not depression, but isolation"
The above lines are logical and true. We allow depression in and we must release her. Thank you my friend for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote