DEAR SUSANNA

a goodbye letter (fictional)

Dear Susanna

If you are reading this, it means the end has come and gone and I have passed on. When I came into this world nobody gave a damn and I'm pretty much leaving the same way. It was the cancer that got me in case you wanted to know. It took about a year to take care of its business, but I didn't put up much of a fight anyway.
Somebody, as close to a friend that I can call, is writing the words as I speak. Maybe I'm a day or two away from wrapping it up for good. My body is of no use to me anymore. I'm a sad sight.
When I'm gone, I'll be cremated and my ashes will be spread over a little lake behind my house, where you can catch all the catfish your heart desires. Crockett, Texas is the place of my demise. A straight shot down I-45. I only been here a few years, but I was able to find some peace here. I know it's only a hundred or so miles from where you are, but it feels like light years away believe me.
I cannot imagine the look on your face now or what you're feeling. Maybe nothing at all. That's even more than I deserve. If you're still reading this, I'm very thankful. You always had a heart that was too kind for this world. There are more than a thousand apologies inside of me. I don't have the strength to tell you every one, but I will say this.
I believe in God. I believe in judgment. I also believe in hell. I accept my fate whatever I got coming to me. Nobody goes through this life without regrets. You're at the top of the list. From what I understand, life has been good to you for a long time. I'm grateful I did not take you too far from God's grace. But I know what you have now could have been a little longer. A little sweeter.
I took from you some prime years. It was a selfish thing to do, but I was thinking differently then. My life was about pain and suffering and I did not want to endure it alone. I wish I could give you those years back. But all I have all are these words and I know they are meaningless to you now. I expect God will forgive me before you will and I have made my peace with that.
In the end, there will be truth. I am scared. More than frightened. The last words you ever told me was that I will reap what I sow. Well you're right about that like you were about a lot of things.
The last few words I want to say is this. It will be you I take to the other side. Me and you sitting in that old swing under the pecan tree. The good times. A rare thing between us. This will be the last selfish thing I will ever do.And so, that's it.That's all I got. Maybe if you hear a few Eagles songs or some Warren Zevon you'll think back to those times we made each other smile. Even in the end, I want you to know I was thinking of you and I was smiling...

(fictional)

Author's Note

Inspired by a movie I saw last year

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"DEAR SUSANNA"
KCthelastboyscout,
I see this little story is fictional . It reads like a stream of consciousness.
the thoughts and feeling which are at the surface having been pushed
up through layers of memories and need for what could of been.
The thing which caught me in this is the need for recompense; the need
to try and apologize or make right past wrongs. Also the proverbial thing
of mortality. None of us excape death. That was acdtulaly the underlying
foundation of this piece.
I noticed your mention God, heaven, judgement and hell. The end is beautiful
too; "Maybe if you hear a few Eagles songs or some Warren zevon you'll think
back to those times we made each other smile.
Even in the end, I want you to know I thinking of you and I waas smiling...."
Loved it KC!
Blessings,
Kathy

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Oh how beautiful... wanted to cry..so beautiful to be able to be open and honest and to say the words you were never able to- wonderful writing really moving🌹

[Cherrie]

Final farewells, we long to have them and to give. We seldom have the chance or courage to do either. A very sincere expression, displayed with grace

[rosalie]

It was very well written. I thought it was real until i read "(fictional)". from the first words I became worried. this an amazing piece. great job

[Samuel Dickens]

A very good "going way" letter, it feels realistic and honest. It would be preferable that no such letters ever be written, but most of us probably need to. No mortal has ever lived a perfect life, methinks.

[Mrudula Rani]

You we're moved by this character so much you wrote a farewell letter for her!
Now get up and watch something funny, like Monty Python's " life of Brain" or something to change your mood. It is not good to be in a sad state of mind!