With these hands, how do I handle something so fragile? Once abused and neglected. Raped and hospitalized. A tortured past of which I cannot go back and change for HER. All we have is now and onward. Of course, there was a beginning. We were introduced. I fell in love. In the blink of an eye. I was helpless. She was quiet but always loving. We settled for kisses and holding hands. I became frustrated. I wanted more.Then came the explanation and it changed everything. How do I say I love you besides using words? How do I say I need you without making you feel pressured? How do I say I want you without touching your body that still needs healing? The remnants of bruises and scars are still visible on her body. She will never forget. Forgiveness is buried so deep inside of her there is no light that can reach it. There are late night phone calls due to recurring nightmares. Memories of the past distract her in the middle of conversations. I always announce my presence beforehand when she is not expecting me. Occasionally when we disagree I keep my demeanor calm never volatile. There are other precautions that I take because although she's getting better each day, there is no deadline for a broken heart to get better. She will never trust anyone completely again. Never give anyone her heart fully. Never love again without restrictions. But I accept it. Because I love her. I know there should be more of an explanation than that, but I just do. Now and always.Someday the healing will end. We will show that we love each other with more than just words, but also with our bodies. We will take care of each other and we will start a new life...She is in my arms. She kisses me. I say "I love you." She whispers in my ear "thank you." I smile and close my eyes... Where else in the world would I rather be?
While this breaks my heart, you've told the story very well and you've made it into something everyone can understand even if they haven't been in either pair of shoes represented here.
It seems to me that you have a natural talent for writing these intimate, emotional scenes. A heart broken is not one easily mended, and you do well at painting that reality. All the little intimate moments, expressions of love and affection, and mention of difficult time come together to make a vivid and touching story. That ending especially is heartwarming. There will be difficulties in life, but that's okay because it will all end up alright.
The struggle of loving someone who has been hurt to that extent was given beautiful vibrancy in this piece. I can do nothing but applaud this write! Standing O!
KC, your well-written story is profound and deeply moving. It is also emotionally authentic. Take it from one who knows. Your beautiful words exemplify the kind of selfless love that would help a trauma survivor to open themselves up to start the long healing process. I say again, selfless love, patience, infinite tenderness and understanding- quite a task. But as you say so meaningfully, “ She whispers in my ear “thank you”...Where else in the world would I rather be?” Wonderful, important write.
This is so inexplicably beautiful. I love it and I wish someone would write something like this for me. I ship you two if you know what that means. haha
Beautiful- that you can love someone in such a special way and understand their every need , being there helping them heal - true love conquers all- lovely story - more people need to have such a heart 🌹