SUNSET

Thoughts in the silence of a moment

This is where I was always meant to be. Here. With you.. I will be with you until our story comes to an end. This is my promise to you... There was nothing before you and after you, there is everything.My love, after all this time, I've found you at last.

© 2017 KCthelastboyscout

Author's Note

For K. FWT thank you

My Review

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Reviews

Voice Crowe

Your poetry almost breaks my heart, but in a good way. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago

Sachi Ruaya

I really enjoyed it. I felt like I really was there!

It seems like the title itself has sets most of the scene. So the reader has to be brought to the title first before reading to achieve the desired atmosphere you want.

There is not much context relating to how the narrator is feeling. Only the words and sentence structure indicate that to the reader [e.g. Here. With you..] I suggest, other than telling the reader, make them FEEL it.

A variety of techniques can be used depending on the context, purpose and how you want to impact the reader.

1) The "only-the-words" indication is one. But you are missing one crucial aspect. The narrator. You have thought a little too much about the "You". This ultimately means the "me" is a bit forgotten despite this being quite short. To add a bit more impact to your readers, I suggest letting the reader know more about the narrator, even if it is just by a little bit.

2) Context. This highly depends whether or not you want the reader to know what happened in the past. Another type is to how the narrator or the person he/she is talking about felt in the past in accordance to what is happening in the present. This connects to 1).

3) Descriptive language (don't overdo!). Just a touch of creative metaphors, similes and appropriate word choice can make the slightest difference!

Thank you for sharing this! I strongly encourage you to write more! I really love reading your works. It's a pleasure.