A HOUSE OF DREAMS

You don't have to look back for the past to catch up with you

The past is done.All the old memories of my life are buried in separate graves.The home of my youth stands before me and the memories rise from the dead to haunt me again.Familiar voices echo from deep within the house. Father mother brother and sister...myself. As I child I wished for this house to burn down including the family that lived inside.We were poison among ourselves and as i feared we became poison to other people in our lives. So why am I here? Back to this place.After years away, I break my latest promise and come back to the beginning of a wasteful life. Years of uncut grass and wild weeds cover the blood trails throughout the yard.The front porch is no longer walkable due to rotting wooden boards.A screen door hangs off the hinges.All the windows are shattered or busted through.The siding is decayed.The roof is in shambles. From a normal point of view this house is decomposing from the outside slowly eroding into the rooms inside.But I was one of the survivors of this place.The early destruction of this house came within from the family it sheltered and worked its way outward. A abusive father.A submissive mother.A brother and sister who tried to protect their baby brother from harm's way but failed.We all hurt each other in one way or another and this house kept records of it all.Our parents lost their lives teaching us lessons that would change the fate of our family history. For my father, one more for the road actually meant two or three more.He died still a young man driving off a bridge into the river.My mother's lesson for us? When life gets too hard, go out on your own terms.She commited suicide with my father's gun down by the lake not too far from home.She cooked a final meal for us and left it on top of the oven.A note was left on the kitchen table."Everyday i hear your daddy call my name.so I'm leaving this world and we will burn in hell together.Take care of each other and stay in God's grace always." MAMA...We didn't. After my mother's death, we each lived with separate family members in separate homes.Over the years we tried as best we could to keep in touch with each other but eventually we just didnt care to try anymore.I haven't seen my brother in years and I don't feel a need to look for him.My sister is still looking for love even after two divorces and countless boyfriends. .All with similarities to my father..For myself I acknowledge that I am a lost soul.I am not a good man.I will take advantage of you and manipulate you when i feel it's necessary to do so.I do not believe I will live to be an old man but I am older than my father ever was.Despite breaking my promise to come back here I was compelled to return one last time. For what reason i can't even explain to myself.From what I understand other families have lived here over periods of time.Now it stands alone in its dying years neglected and abandoned. This was a house of dreams.Every person who stayed here dreamed of a better life living somewhere else other than this house.Someday soon the last remnants of what's standing will eventually tumble to the ground. Its remains will turn into ash and disappear into the wind.It will also take away the memories of myself and my family and it will be as if we never even existed at all.

Author's Note

A work of fiction based on a actual house of from my childhood now long gone.

Reviews

[Great Aunt Astri]

A work of fiction? It actually brought tears to my eyes, MAMA,,, oh how I felt the anguish there! Symbolically, it is probably a good thing that the old house is falling apart .. being taken back to Nature. It is quite cathartic. I think we all need to discard the old soul destroying things that we have been subjected to .. just let them decay into oblivion, so that their demise will bring better things to our lives. I think you have told the story really well. With the detail and emotion, it seemed like a very true story!

[Farmgirl]

Oh wow ...
This is sooo close to home for me on many deep levels .. This took me to a very dark place ... A reflection of myself I see in this story at times... Scary to see your heart and what goes through ones mind through someone elses ( fictional reality) .... Hard to step away from this one without a faint heart and tears beginning to well in my eyes ...

[Sammie Sanchez]

it is awesome, great work C:

[emipoemi]

........I have a lot of praise for this! This is superbly written on a narrative level. Really delves deep down to the emotional heart and drags the reader along with it. Holy wow! So profound! Amazing how childhood memories are churned into such stories. Now, despite my overall praise, I would suggest a few things:

1- First couple of sentences should be merged, and reworked into the end (sounds better, and you don't get the repetition of "memories" too soon in the narrative, for as it reads now, those two phrases seem to say similar things, and its not particularly good story telling to repeat much of the same ideas....especially in such close proximity). At the end, it could read something along the lines of "The past is done, and buried in separate graves" to thus avoid the repetition that it would have with the "memories" found in the last sentence.

2- you have typos in certain areas.....(I'm sure I won't need to point out where).

3- Some words/phrases are not needed to fully paint the picture. "The home of my youth stands before me and the memories rise from the dead to haunt me again. Familiar voices echo from deep within the house".....Because "home" is mentioned, "the house" is not needed, for we know you're talking about the house/home. Simply say "within". Similarly with "As a child I wished for this house to burn down including the family that lived inside".....Why "including...that lived inside" when it could simply read something like "As a child I wished for this house to burn down along with the family inside". There are a few more, but I'll let you try to find them. Sound out the lines and see what you've mentioned clearly and what additional details are simply spelling things out rather than adding to the story.

4. "Father, mother, brother, sister.....myself" - no "and"....more power that way.

Well done!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Writing should move people, and this certainly accomplished that. I relate very much to this, as I am sure others do as well. It's replete with grief ,sadness, remorse, and an acceptance. I very much believe that we are energy and that energy lives on.

[AmberMorgan]

The story is heartfelt and I found it to be very moving. There are plenty of unique sentences that draw telling pictures, such as "the separate graves", "blood trails through the yard", and "MAMA...we didn't." Each of those sentences, along with others, makes your writing stand out. You also do a good job of balancing images and giving information. The short story also gives the readers a desire to know more and to ask questions about themselves and their families. I really enjoyed reading your piece and I'll definitely read some of your other works. Thanks!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

KCthe lastboyscout,

"A HOUSE OF DREAMS"
Your story is very special. It is graphic enough and real enough to show your history through the "character" of your childhood home.
Opening lines, "The past is done. All the old memories of my life are buried in separate graves." These were fitting epitaphs to the possibilities for hope in the future. You will move forward. I felt it as this reminisce unfolded.
You also mentioned being a survivor. This is beautiful. Of course the sadness of your experience cannot be ignored and the future is definitly effected from your past.
YOur story is beautiful to me for it also tells the reality of so many who have been marred and scarred from experiences of youth.
You shared yours. Thank you.
Blessings in the coming days.
Keep learning, Keep growing.
God Bless,
Kathy