Don't Look Back

Yul's dock story.

[ed note: In this chapter, the Yul we know is Aly.]

The jumper pulled up to the crowded dock and four doors opened in a gale of storm and emotion alike. In every direction ships of all shapes and sizes swayed at anchor, creaking like old men, as families were torn in goodbyes like leaves from autumn trees in a blustery gust.

“Father, may I have a minute with Aly?” asked Yul.

Their father looked vacantly annoyed, divided between honoring Yul’s request while doubting Aly’s merit. He was a large Hynerian, domineering most would say, imposing, no one would deny. Still, what Yul wanted, Yul got. “Make it quick Yul. Schedules must be obeyed.” The look he gave Aly would have frozen a battle hardened soldier.

Yul grabbed Aly by the arm and pulled her around the corner. “Look, we don’t have much time—“

“Hey, let’s cut the crap. I’m not pissed you’re leaving and I’m not. Never expected otherwise. But what the frail! Did you have to wear the same outfit. How bout I just cut my wrist so you can throw a little salt my way, for old times sake, you know, just for fun, one last time.”

“Are you through? Cause if you are, I want your scarf. Here, take mine and give me yours.”

Aly’s jaw dropped. “Are you shiotting me? Holy mother of Janus, I never imagined you . . . . Wait, no frailing sense in . . . Frail it. You want my frailing scarf. Here, take the damn thing.”

“Aly, it’s not what you think.”

“Frailing easy for you to say. You’re not the one with a death sentence, one you didn’t choose, one assigned to you by others. Ever wonder what it’s like to be judged?”

Yul’s face changed and in one fluid motion she slapped the living shiott out of Aly. “Listen up. I’m only going to say this one time and I’m going to say it real slow so that thick head of yours doesn’t frail this up. I’m dying. Got maybe six months to live, perhaps a year with luck, which certainly is longer than this planet’s got.”

Aly wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth. “So why are you telling me this? You think it gonna make me feel any better?”

Yul just shook her head. “You don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

“You think I would dress like you on purpose? My Janus, it about killed my soul to put these clothes on. Look, here’s the deal. Your name is Yul and you are getting on that ship. You understand?”

Aly stood with a deer in the highlights look. “What are you talking about?”

“The whole purpose of getting people off-world is to save them from certain death, to give them a chance to start over. I’m dying Aly. Makes no sense for me to get on that ship when I know you could go in my place.”

“So why—“

“Father. You think he would let you go if he knew?”

“Nope.”

“So, I’m giving you your chance. Now take my scarf. When we walk back around, your name is Yul. You hug Father. Kiss Mother. Ignore me and walk your arse up that plank as quickly as you can. And Aly?

“What?”

“Don’t look back.”

Reviews

[AutumnStorm]

As great an impact second time around. Wow. Okay, where to start..
it makes me think of death, not to be morbid, but how in the blink of an eye it can rip someone dear from our lives, or to cut the morbidity how circumstances can do the same and what comes next is just the next step, mind is still stuck or at least has not finished, needing to go back to that point later to fill in the blanks. In mere moments, everything changes, a wealth of information to take in with not enough time to do so, only to act. Her life spared, her sister's gesture when everything points to the fact that there have been tragically few between them previously. In the blink of that same eye, a hundred questions are released like celebratory balloons previously under wrap, primarily what was the cause of their father's favour and not just favour but outright preference of only one and not the other and how would their relationship, the girls, have been different if not for that imposing, destroying factor and when Aly (our Yul) eventually does have the time to take it all in so to speak, what thoughts will come to her, what conflicting, booming, judged right, judged wrong by the outsider. We are what we are, Yul (christened) is one assumes in great part a product of her upbringing, in regards to Aly (our Yul) for one and one imagines that perhaps her recent diagnosis or simply because she has it in her, or both, sees her making this decision, one wonders whether the influence on our Yul was the greater culprit in dividing the sisters, heeded the theory seems by the slap and the words about the outfit, though yet again, when there is great change in a person, were that the case for Yul left behind, the shock to those being shown it would be great for it to be believable. In short, boughs and branches and a thousand leaves. In their prime. One wonders.., well, one wonders and keeps on wondering, creating theories and backgrounds and possibilities and what ifs, one gains impressions, understanding, and it is glorious, glorious to be immersed, like a dream. Mr Writer, you capture your reader. Within your words there is nothing else. And it is a beautiful place to be. When there, I feel I could be there always. Reading is a perfect moment.

[AutumnStorm]

I meant to address the title, for two reasons, though neither are enough to fill a comment, but still, firstly and there is no particular reason to mention it, the title reminded me of Look Back in Anger and one might, were one to take the time to study and compare, find some similarities between the protagonist there - I forget his name - and the girls, secondly there's a wealth of meaning in those words, feeling rather, again thoughts of what was going through Yul's (christened) mind as she said those words. Perhaps the lens is tinted, but I imagine as she says them, she does so because her sister needs to hear them, because she knows that her sister would doubt her place, because she would regret, because she herself regrets and feels the loss, of what might have been for herself certainly, but it is always harder to be left behind that to do the leaving. That list is just the surface of all that the statement evokes of possibilities.
I could talk forever about this chapter. I'll stop. For now at least. :-)