Hamlet and Quack Quack

Hamlet and his stuffed animal, Quack Quack.

Hamlet loved playing with my dogs in the yard and even the cats when they were out. But, no one wanted to curl up with him. He was a snuggle bunny in a pigs body.

Now, I did have a cat named Tom Thumb because he had too many toes. He loved Hamlet. When ever Tom Thumb was trying to impress one of us he would tease a field mouse into the house. Now, Hamlet was a real mouse catcher. He would kill the mouse and walk away. Tom Thumb would lay by the mouse as if he was the hero. This worked on me a few times until I actually witnessed the routine in action. Tom Thumb would let Hamlet snuggle with him on occasion, but not when anyone was looking. Tom Thumb got out one night and the coyotes got him off the front porch.

I heard the cry but was too late to save him. Hamlet was very blue. I could tell (this was before Idabell came to live with us) he needed someone to be his buddy. The dogs would run away because his hooves hurt when he tried to climb on their backs. The hooves were his problem. I put booties on him and that helped. It also helped him cross slick floors.

I went to a flea market one day and found a beautiful lamb. I bought him and brought him home. He instantly took to Hamlet and the feeling was returned. They romped and played inside and outside for hours. Then they would curl up together in a little shed I had put in the backyard. I only left them out when I was home. I did not trust the coyote situation.

Things went along swimmingly until the day the lamb was snatched right out of the backyard by a neighbors dog. He was killed instantly. I was crying and trying to console Hamlet when there was a knock at the door. It was my sister with a baby duck. Someone's pet duck had babies, and they were going to have to move or something, so she volunteered to find a home for the babies. Quack Quack arrived. I called her that because she never just Quacked, she always, repeated herself.

Now, you have to understand I had a potbellied pig, a duckling, 3 dogs,  4 cats and two parrots in my living room the day my new mother-in-law arrived. Brutus (a 250 pound great Dane) was on his sofa in the den taking a nap.

She was my husband's father's new bride. She came without calling first, without notice of any kind. I did not even know they had gotten back from the honeymoon yet. Low and behold the doorbell rang and everyone stopped and looked at me. I am alone in the house with my zoo. And we were having such a good time too.

I answered the door without opening the screen. I did not want to take a chance someone would get out. Also, I recognized her from the picture we had from their Vegas wedding. I told her that' "the animals were in the house so if you would"…that is all I had time to say. She opened the screen door and came inside.

Well, the welcoming committee went to work on our new guest. Tilly, my husbands African Gray parrot, flew over and sat on her shoulder, then George the Yellow Headed parrot landed on top of her head. The dogs instantly ran over to lick her hands and Baby Girl gently mouthed her wrist and lead her to the sofa. Winston jumped on her which pushed her down on the sofa. Then two cats jumped onto the sofa and meowed at her, as if to say,  "You are in our spot, lady." They did not move they just stared at her. The real problem came when Quack Quack came in and started yelling at her and Hamlet came in and started untying her shoe.

All of this greeting took place within 90 seconds after she came in the door. She gasps for breath. Her eyes were about to pop out of her head. I was trying to get control of the situation when she suddenly jumped up. I said, "Please, give me a minute."

She would not hear of it. She started to run but couldn't. Furthermore, she was blocked. You would have thought this was the only Indian and the wagons had surrounded her. About that time Tilly yelled out... "Brutus". Instantly, our great Dane jumped over the back of the sofa and landed right beside her sending two cats scattered to the floor. Now, if you remember, Brutus is cross-eyed. He sees two of everything. He kept twitching his head back and forth trying to figure out which screaming lady was the real one. The poor thing was in shock.  The lady was in shock, not Brutus.

I clapped my hands real loud and everything stopped. I held my arm up and Tilly landed on it. Then I yelled, "George. Go Home." George flew back to his perch. I pointed at the back door and the dogs, including Brutus one by one walked quietly out the back through the doggy door. The cats went under the sofa. "I said I would introduce you, but I think you have met enough of my children." She looked down at Hamlet and said, "And what about your"...she paused… cleared her throat and said, pig and your… Another pause… Duck?"  I was not sure if she had ever seen a duck up close before.  One thing for sure, she had never seen a pig this close.

I said, "It is OK, they don't mind." She looked at me like I was crazy. I said in a very nice voice, "You should have called, I ...pause (thinking fast) would have made some coffee cake for us. Let me make some coffee." She bent down to retie her shoe. Hamlet looked up at her and gave her a lick on the back of her hand. Quack Quack waddled over and introduced herself again. I saw the woman let out a tiny smile. Hamlet caught it too. He instantly flopped over for his belly rub. She looked at me.

I said; "It is how we initiate all new members of the family. You must rub the pigs belly." Without saying a word she smiled and did. Hamlet smiled. The lady signed. Quack Quack again introduced herself and stretched her head up, so she could be stroked too.

After about 5 minutes, Hamlet had won the day. Bernice, finally told me her name. I chatted with her for a while, and then she got ready to leave. I did remind her that in the South it is best to call first to let someone know you are coming… Just in case the welcoming committee gets out of hand. I guess they do not do that in New York. Poor dear, Bernice was a Yankee... I should have known... She just did not know any better. I really am just joking about that. That is something my grandmother would have said. To her, you were from Texas or you were a Yankee. No, matter. This 

Lucky lady is in the South now.

She came back the next day to get pictures of Hamlet and Quack Quack, so she could tell the girls at the bridge club all about my welcoming committee. She called first. Hamlet and Quack Quack greeted her properly. She sat on the sofa and rubbed Hamlets belly… Stroked Quack Quack's head and then took pictures.

It was not long after that the Coyotes got Quack Quack. Hamlet was beside himself with grief. I finally got a toy duck. He carried it everywhere. He slept with it, and it had to go with him on all commercial gigs and all parties. I just called it Hamlet's Quack Quack.

Now you understand why we got Idabell... that as you know by now is another story.