Thinking

Don't know what to name this

Oh the questions that fill my head

they overwhelm me and make me 

overthink alot more than I should 

I fight these questions everyday, wondering 

if they will ever stop coming to mind.

Oh the thoughts that come and go 

in my head, they scare me everyday

making me wonder if I'm going to 

relapse five times worse then the last 

I'm struggling but I keep fighting

when will it ever stop?

Oh the feelings, they are deep

but somedays they are deeper then

others. Most of the time I have 

too many feelings and emotions that

come all at once. One day I could be 

happy and the next I could be sad. 

One minute I could be so pissed off and the 

next I could be happy and hyper. 

I scream and cry silently 

I have breakdowns at least

two times a day

I bottle up everything until it

becomes too much and I explode.

I know it's not healthy, but I'm

scared to ask for help because of 

my fear of being judged.

My coworkers seem to notice

when something is wrong, but

I don't want to be a burden. 

So I push through the day 

like nothing is wrong 

with a fake smile on my face at work.

Deep inside I'm hurting

and struggling but I 

fight through it all

and I will fight till 

the end. Life is way 

to short to lose now.