chapter 4

(Zoë POV)

I didn’t feel comfortable around Mr. Lewis anymore. I didn’t regret what I’ve told him, but I simply don’t want to have this crush. The whole lesson I just thought he was looking at me, or I hoped so because I know he wouldn’t.

It was Friday so I asked my friends to go with me today. After school we would go to my house and having dinner and a little party. Eddie brought some drink. I knew my parents would stay away tonight, so they could sleep over. We all got a little drunk and started to play truth or dare. Gladly I was still able to think and remember when I get drunk, if I didn’t drink too much. We just had a few rounds when we all fell asleep.

My friends left the next morning and I started to clean up the house. I made my homework and started to work on the homework for the next week, so I would have more time for everything.

Two months went by and nothing really happened. I still felt better than before the summer. I tried to stop with the self-harm, I had survived a week without now. Mr. Lewis and I grew closer and sometimes I thought he liked me too, but I knew that was just imagination. Little did I know he felt the same.

Today was a boring day. I had some lessons and made some homework. After that I started to plan things for next week. I needed my parents to be home. I didn’t know how to get them away from work, since that’s always their way to cope with things they don’t like. I wanted to go to Jerry and just be together. I needed to let Jerry know we still think much about him and that we still miss them.

I decided to go to the shop after school, so I would see my parents. The day went even slower now I’ve planned this. When I finally was in the shop I directly saw my parents. I waited till they were done with the customer and walked towards them.

‘Mom, dad?’ I asked.

Mom looked surprised. ‘Zoë, what are you doing here?’

‘I want to ask you to be home Wednesday afternoon. You know, because of Jerry…’

‘Honey, we wanted to tell you this evening, but we’ll be on business trip next week’ dad said.

I was very angry. ‘What!? I knew the store was more important than me, you showed that last year. I’m used to it, I can care about myself, but I thought Jerry would mean more to you!’

I was so angry. I ran out of the store with boiling blood. If I would go straight to home I thought it would go wrong so I decided to look if there was anyone at school. I was angry and cried out loud the way route to school. I ran to Mr. Lewis’ classroom. I really hoped he was there, because I didn’t know what I would do when he wasn’t. When I calmed down a bit  I knocked at the door.

‘Come in’ he said.

He sat behind his desk marking some essays. When I walked in he looked up. ‘Zoë? What’s wrong?’

‘My parents…’ I said.

‘What did they do?’

I felt the anger came back even harder. ‘You know Jerry died a year ago? Wednesday he died exactly a year ago. I asked my parents to be at home that evening, but they won’t be here, for me, or even for Jerry. I’ll be alone… Again. They will be on a business trip next week. I knew I’m not important enough for them, I’m used to it and it’s okay. I’m not important. But they even forgot about Jerry. The shop is more important to them than their dead son!’

Mr. Lewis looked shocked. ‘I’m sorry. I wish I could do something for you… But you’re wrong at one point. You’re more important to others than you might think.’

‘Everyone moved on. It’s like he didn’t even existed before.’

I walked to one of the tables close to his desk and sat at it. ‘They don’t even care… I don’t even think they’ll miss me if I would leave. Their reaction when I came into the store said enough. No hug or ‘how are you’ or something like that. No, the first thing they said in days to me is ‘what are you doing here?’

I didn’t even realize I was crying again, until Mr. Lewis came and sat next to me. ‘It’s okay’ he said, while he hugged me. I felt safe in his arms and I knew everything would be okay. I calmed down in his arms.

‘How can your parents not see what they are doing to you?’ he said.

‘I don’t know. They just don’t care. I’m seventeen, I’m mature, I can care for myself, so I don’t need them anymore…’

We just sat there for a few minutes. I calmed down a lot and laid my head against his chest. ‘I haven’t show you a pic of Jerry, didn’t I?’ I asked.

‘No, you didn’t.’

I took my phone and scrolled through my pictures. ‘Here, I took this one a few days  before he died. Jerry and I were very close. At this one he was being crazy again. Our parents were gone and we had a movie and pizza night on Wednesday. The day after we both were broken and tired.’ I smiled at the memory.

‘I’m sorry for your parents… I’m glad you came to me.’ He seemed a little bit uncomfortable with the situation. He held me a little closer. His scent and him holding me close made me melt.

‘Thank you for everything’ I said. I looked in his beautiful eyes. I really wanted to kiss him and I thought he wanted it too. I saw something in his eyes and I thought it was a little admiration or something like that.

I moved a little closer and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.